HELP with potty training for 38 month old

I have a 38 month old daughter who refuses to go on the potty without her diaper and pants on.  She will gladly sit on the potty with clothes on.  She will empty her soiled diaper into her potty, take the potty connection off, flip the lids up on the toilet seat, and dump the BM into the toilet, replace the potty connection to the potty chair, and flush the toilet.  She will not, however, pee or poo in the potty chair.  She tells my husband and I it's easier for us to change her in her diaper.  I tried potty training her once and she stayed in her wet underwear for 20 minutes constantly asking me to change her.  I felt so bad, that I changed her into her diaper after that.  She is very strong willed and if she does not want to do something, she doesn't do it.  What can I do to get her to be potty trained?

[ticked]

maybe she isnt ready.  My friends daughter was the same and one day she decided to go once all the pressure was off.  

Is she in pull ups or diaper?. Have you tried rewards? Tell her she is going to have a huge party if she goes on the toilet.  

[margypops]

how about trying her on the big' toilet, and remove the pullups let her be in control and make less of the issue verbally,let her choose some pretty big girl pants , and try rewards .

[specialmom]

Ha.  Well, kids have very little power and control even though they try desperately to obtain it.  When exactly they get potty trained tends to be one thing they can control.  Have no fear though . . . she will eventually be potty trained and this will be but a distant memory---------- I promise.  

The average age for boys to be potty trained is 3.5 and girls is slightly younger but not much.  You may have friends who have potty trained kids . . . but they may still have accidents or not be dry at night.  I guess I'm just saying--------- don't feel alone.  And neither of my boys were potty trained by your daughter's age.  Here is the advantage of the older potty trainer---- it actually will go faster in terms of accidents and what not than if it happens earlier.  One of my son's was potty trained (like as in he didn't have an accident ever) in one day.  No joke.  He just decided he was ready and that was it.  

So, my suggestion is to put no pressure on this.  Once in a while say "please get potty trained".  Of course, praise her like mad if she ever does go.  And I also agree that I'd skip the little potty at this point and go right to the regular toilet.  One of those potty rings is a good idea and she can pick out what she likes.  We had a Diego one.  The kids could put it on and off as necessary.  And what would happen if your daughter just had on a dress with no diaper or pull up?  I did this for one of my boys (it was summer and warm and he wore a big t shirt instead of a dress)---------  maybe she'd get on the potty then.  Probably would.

I think the final thing that put my son over the hump was he was getting ready to go back to preschool and I said "your friends might not think it is cool if you are still in pull ups.  Will you please get potty trained?"

But mostly be patient as this is just a blip on the radar.  She'll get it and you'll hardly believe it took so long after she does.  good luck