HELP

My 3 year old is out if control he refuses to listen hits out bites screams slams doors I have tried loads of different ways to prevent this but nothing seems to be working plz help

[margypops]

What happens prior to the tantrums something must trigger them, has he any siblings if so how does he get on with them ?  

[Mummyinneedofhelp]

He has a step brother and they get on quite well...the tantrums start when I tell him not to do something as it is naughty he constantly fights with other children

[madamvee360]

my daughter is 4 and has been exhibiting the same behaviour patterns, i have been working with her kindy and now with a child psychologist to work on her food plan and her sleep plan and i have found that my daughter may possibly have a reaction to sugar or gluten. I refused to have her medicated as i dont think its a good solution to have them dependant on medication at a young age and i can say for sure it works shes sleeping better eating better and behaving better.. she still has her days but it has vastly improved

[margypops]

I think you have to have time outs for him, when he doesnt want to do something and throws a tantrum take him and sit him on a seat , he has to stay there till he is calm and sorry, he will come off take him back .Time outs have been shown to work well.,I asked about a sibling as many times children are copying what they have learned from others and if an older Brother had fought with him it could account for his behavior towards others ..

[Mummyinneedofhelp]

He has time out it's something I have done for a while but it just goes over his head he will do exactly the same thing over and over he's just oblivious to any kind of discipline. We have been to see a psychologist and they can find nothing wrong apart from an iron deficiency which he has iron supplements for

[margypops]

So what happens prior to the tantrum can you give a scenario what would trigger his behavior?.

[Mummyinneedofhelp]

He has time out it's something I have done for a while but it just goes over his head he will do exactly the same thing over and over he's just oblivious to any kind of discipline. We have been to see a psychologist and they can find nothing wrong apart from an iron deficiency which he has iron supplements for

[margypops]

I asked what happened prior to the tantrums you describe here ...I asked you what triggered the behavior ??

[madamvee360]

im also seeing a child psychologist for my daughter had a session today, The psychologist is amazing he and his daughter who run the sessions advised me that if your child has any of the behavioural disorders wether it be add,ahdh, odd or any other behavioural issues it can more often than not be neurological they are born that way, its completely wrong to be looking at things like bad behaviour or diet issues diet problems or affects of things like sugar ect is a one in 30 child that sufers from the disorder. He said its not their fault its just that their little brain works differently and they have wonderful ways of helping the parents find different ways  of communicating with the child.

[margypops]

I think that this is the way to go many children do have food allergies and often the behavior gets better once they adjust their diet I like what you have told us here, I too feel it is not right to ply children with the powerful drugs that are prescribed .The psychologist you are seeing seems to know what he is talking about .good luck

[madamvee360]

Thanx so much yes i think he knows what hes talking about. He never once mentioned medicating her until we have explored every other avenue  to see  what works best, he said consistency is the key to winning against these disorders not doping them up and changing who these precious little people are personality wise.Our next session is in two weeks from now. I have to keep a journal of  her diet between now and then and write down any changes that I notice once she gobbles down certain food and drink too . Im also now considering making my fresh juice for her at home  considering it seems all the different poppers and drinks i look at in the stores are over 70% reconstitued juice hence sugar.... see how we go from here

[madamvee360]

I wanted to also mention without waffling on..lol that alot of these children just need alot more mind stimulation than others for example excercise, brain strain games, thinking  games and interesting activities for them to wear their little brains out...

[margypops]

I so agree with you , I have always found children do really well when they are involved in sports and getting exercise, and also as you say thinking games keeping them busy mentally and physically helps ..I do some  juicing , and I think cutting back on refined sugar good, most of the juices in the stores seem to come from concentrate.. Love this psychologist you have found, he obviously knows his job and just doesn't get children on drugs with awful side effects .

[madamvee360]

yes that was my very first concern when I first met him my first statement was dont even think of asking me to medicate her cause its out of the question and he said thats the very last thing we ever think of. Every child can be helped without the use of medication its up to the parent to want to put the effort and consistency in. He finds that its only the lazy parents that just dont want to deal with it themselves and take responsibility for their childs emotional safety and wellbeing. He is also working closely with my daughters mini school who are also incredible with working on specialized education strategies to help children who  have difficulties with learning so they do not suffer with their education. Also so they know they are not alone in the world and have someone who wants to listen to them. I have such an incredible support network with the school and the psychologist so now I no longer feel helpless when it comes to helping her. My parents her maternal grandparents have also been asked to attend some of the sessions they ask that the entire immediate family are working together and all know the strategies for helping so she has the whole family working together for her happiness.

[madamvee360]

I think i really know what your going through, I want you to know your not alone alot of us can feel your frustration. Anything i can do to help, even just to be an ear to listen to you rant..lol which sometimes is all a mum needs. I have been told not to talk down to a child anymore and not to try and yell over them cause it only does it frustrate and upset you and your little boy but it doesnt resolve the situation. The psychologist suggested to start giving them choices 1 that is the right thing to do and one thats not but give them the scenario of the consequences if they make the wrong choice and see if the understand the idea of right from wrong. Suggest to them that they miss out on certain activites. I have really found it to be working with my daughter.