Having Major Problems With ADHD 9y/o behavior....

Our son recently turned 9 y/o and was diagnosed with ADHD about 1 year ago.  I am the step father of this child and fully understand the "testing" he does.  But over the past several months he has been having more difficulity listening and following directions.  IE.  He consistantly tries to sneak any kind of sugar item that may be in the house at all times during the day and is even going through our room to search for candy.  One of the biggest problems is him waking up early in the morning 530-630 and going into the refridge and getting pudding or cookie dough or something that he knows he is not to have.  We have told him that he wouldn't get breakfast after eating such things, times outs, reasonable thinking but nothing seems to work.  He goes right back into the same routine and it seems he doesnt care if hes punished.  Please Help!!!!! he is undergoing therepy with a child psych and she has said he is a very intelligent child and knows how to manipulate people very well.  All she has ofered us is to go on a reward system for behavior we want and punishment for those we don't, but like i said it seems nothing ever works.  We are desprite for other answers!!!!!!!!

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

Dear Mr. Jones,

The general advice of the child therapist is worth paying attention to, but it's the specifics that count. I'm sure you've heard the saying: 'The devil is in the details."

The strategy to pursue in a reward, or contingency, system is to make it in your son's vested interest to do what you want him to do. So one ingredient in the behavior management system would be a way for your son to earn the very things he desires. In essence, by cooperating with your rules around his schedule, his early morning behavior, etc., he would receive some sort of treat that he desires. Of course, as with any parent, you have to use your judgement about type, amount, etc. But your son is letting you know where you have leverage - so use that very leverage to help him.

[sue]

I am in the same boat as Dennis with his 16 y/o daughter.  My son has been ADD since 1/2 grade.  Worked so hard with him all these years.  16 now and angry, violent, completely disorganized, no concentration, etc.  In trouble with the law now and in Juvenile Detention.  Psychiatrist at the crisis center was given a short history and she asked me if he had ever been diagnosed as Bi Polar.  I have had that in my head the last couple of months.  Does ADD in smaller children develope into Bi Polar when teens?  He has gradually become worse and worse since last January. I have noticed severe depression at times and completely out of control screaming/yelling.  I have to get this guy a correct diagnosis.  Had him to a psychologist/MD just a week before this last episode.  Now he is on 20 mg Addaral in a.m and 150 mg time release Wellbutrin in a.m and another in p.m.  Is he on the correct medicine?

[cara]

in response to sue.


MY SON IS 16 YRS OLD AND IS BI POLAR AND ADHD HE IS CURRENTLY ON TWO MEDICATIONS, RITALIN  AND LITHIUM  AND I HAVE A NEW CHILD IN MY HOME . AFTER YEARS OF HELL NORMAL LIFE HAS FINIALLY ARRIVED , DONT GIVE UP ; WITH THE RIGHT DIAGNOSIS AND MEDICATION  A WHOLE NEW WORLD CAN OPEN UP FOR YOUR CHILD .
MY SON WAS DIAGNOSED WITH ADHD AT THE AGE OF 7. AND HAS BEEN ON RITALIN SINCE AGE 8, AS HE GOT OLDER HE GOT MORE DISRUPTIVE AND VERY DIFFICULT TO LIVE WITH,HE WAS TRIED ON SO MANY DRUGS PAXIL, PROZAC,ETC
THEY SEEMED TO MAKE THINGS MUCH WORSE THEN THEY TRIED LITHIUM AND LET ME TELL YOU I GOT A WHOLE DIFFERENT CHILD......
FOR THE BETTER  HES A REAL JOY NOW

GOOD LUCK  DONT EVER GIVE UP

[cara]

in response to sue.


MY SON IS 16 YRS OLD AND IS BI POLAR AND
ADHD HE IS CURRENTLY ON TWO MEDICATIONS,
RITALIN  AND LITHIUM  AND I HAVE A NEW
CHILD IN MY HOME . AFTER YEARS OF HELL
NORMAL LIFE HAS FINIALLY ARRIVED , DONT
GIVE UP ; WITH THE RIGHT DIAGNOSIS AND
MEDICATION  A WHOLE NEW WORLD CAN OPEN UP
FOR YOUR CHILD .
MY SON WAS DIAGNOSED WITH ADHD AT THE AGE
OF 7. AND HAS BEEN ON RITALIN SINCE AGE
8, AS HE GOT OLDER HE GOT MORE DISRUPTIVE
AND VERY DIFFICULT TO LIVE WITH,HE WAS
TRIED ON SO MANY DRUGS PAXIL, PROZAC,ETC
THEY SEEMED TO MAKE THINGS MUCH WORSE
THEN THEY TRIED LITHIUM AND LET ME TELL
YOU I GOT A WHOLE DIFFERENT CHILD......
FOR THE BETTER  HES A REAL JOY NOW

GOOD LUCK  DONT EVER GIVE UP

[LAURA M]

I also have a 7yo son who 2 years ago was diagnosed with ADHD. The Dr. gave him Ritalin and he was on that for 4 months. He was doing great... then all of a sudden he took a turn for the worse. He started the out of control behavior and the fighting and hitting everyone, even spit at the asst. principle. he was susupended at least 4 times in kindergarten. The Dr increased his med and he got worse... Well I took him off the drug..( I didnt want him on it in the first place) Then he started doing better off the ritalin. Now I have done the time outs, the takin away the toys, and even spanking... NONE HELPED AT ALL.
Here we are 2 years later and he is back to his old self, the kid who has violent temper tantrums and refuses to listen to anyone of Authority Figure. I am so afraid they will put him in Special Ed. He is very smart and does GREAT with school work. ITs just his behavior......... I lost my job b/c of this, and NO one will stay with him I have 2 smaller children also in my home who I fear he will hurt.. He hurt my daughter 2 years ago, put her in the hospital where she had to get 5 stiches in her stomach... I dont know what to do, Sometimes I think of turning him over to the state because he just dont listen to me or my husband (step father) His father hasnt been around for a year and that also is a factor here, He wants to go live with him but I cant find him!!!!!  AGHHHHH HELP ME
Mother Desperate to save family.......

[Kathy]

We've had so many problems with a 10 year old boy and the other problem is that his father is still in denial.  In addition to "testing" people for their reaction and getting them angry once he knows that person won't harm him, he lies, steals, is failing in school, has no friends, sneaks around the house suspiciously, very disorganized, problems with keeping his underwear clean (he soils them once in awhile or pees in them), plays with stuff animals and while doing so, has conversations with them, hides things in odd places (under clean towels in the bathroom, behind or under furniture), hoards food, eats quickly so that he can get seconds (if it's something he likes), has no friends at school that are his age and no friends in the neighborhood that are his age (he only gets along with very young children).  I'm exhausted from watching his unusual behavior and would like any and all advice anyone has.