Head strong 4 year old

I am the single parent of an adopted child. I am also a special education teacher. My child seems to be nuerologically intact and is even high average bright. She turned 4 at the beginning of December. In the last month she had demonstrated some concerning behavior mostly at school and once at gymnastics. She seems to get emotionally overwhelmed, shuts down and doesn't talk or do anything for up to an hour. She sticks out her lip and folds her arms. One time this was a reaction to be asked to get a tissue to wipe her nose. She is definitely slow to warm up to new people and situations. From the beginning, when she gets hurt she will often resist comforting and gets a bit angry. She is a lot more tempremental than I think I was as a child so I am not sure whwther this is normal or not?????

[jdtm]

Your child appears to be suffering from anxiety.  The behaviours you mentioned - bright, shutting down, emotional, lack of speech, unable to interact, slow to warm to people, overly sensitive and anger, - and probably frustrations and tantrums, are all indicative of anxiety.  I'll bet you also have sleeping, eating and washroom issues.  The "not speaking" part - does it happen often?  Our child was unable to speak in social situations for several years (not until her fourth year in school) due to her extreme anxiety.  It appears as if your child is not as severe as ours and this is good news.

I might suggest you check out this website 'selectivemutism.org' which is the site for Childhood Anxiety Disorders and Selective Mutism.  Selective Mutism (sm for short) is extreme social phobia whereby the child is so "stressed out", she is unable (not refuses but unable) to speak.  This is what is occurring with your daughter.  This is why she shuts down - a survival technique.  She will need to learn how to cope and manage her fears, but it can be done.  If your daughter is suffering from anxiety, she will not outgrow it nor will it go away.  By the way, the prognosis for children suffering from anxiety is excellent if diagnosed and treated early.  First, I would suggest you read the FAQ's on this site.  There are a lot of resources on this site, including an on-line forum.  I wish you the best and please write back if you feel that I might be of help.