Help! A mother in need of some answers

[Joy4247]

HELP!!!
My 7 year old son had a friend sleep over.  This morning a walked in the room to find my son's pants pulled down and his friend's face on his buttocks.  I am so angry!!!!  The friend has been caught doing this to another boy and forbidden to play with him. My son say's that it was his friends idea......At this point I don't know what to say or do.  I have felt sick all day.

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

It goes without saying that you should talk with your son about this, both to learn how this came about and if there have been other instances, as well as to set a very firm limit about refraining from this or any other sort of inappropriate behavior. In addition, you should speak with the other boy's parents about what happened - they deserve to know (just as you would want a parent to tell you if such an episode occurred in another home).

[Joy4247]

Thank you for your response.  My husband and I have spoken to my son, to find out that this is not the first time.  The child's mother happens to be a close friend of mine.  She has told me in confidence, that he has been caught playing this game with another boy and was forbidden to see him.  After she found this out she contacted the pediatrician who informed her that based on the child's response "I like it and can't stop" she should consider having him talk with a professional. She did not proceed with the recommendation from the pediatrician. I have cancelled our visit to there house over the weekend. Should the boys be forbidden to see one another? The thought of them being together makes my stomach turn.

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

Hopefully the parents will follow up with the recommendation. The boys can see each other, but of course they have to b under direct supevision, always with an adult. The contact should be at your house, where you can be sure the supervision will occur. It's not a good idea to trust that it will occur in the other household.