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Help my kindergardener cries, doesn't take instructions and has had peed his pants!
My son is 5 he just turned 5 at the end of June he is a young kindergartener. He is an only child and has never really gone to day care with exception of maybe a few hours a week in the past (which he was great with after the first few days he fit right in the actually said he was the best kid they had.) My husband and I work opposing shifts to take care of him we find a hard time trusting some people with our child. He never had the option to go to preschool because my husband and I actually work for a living. He didn't qualify for head start or a preschool program at the local school because we are over income limit. My husband and me we both work retail and we really don't make that much. Frankly we couldn't afford $400 a month to put him in private pre-school.
He started kindergarten on Aug 10 her cried the whole first day and got go upset he fell asleep and then wet himself once he got relaxed. The school called me and I came to pick him up a little early. The first day the teacher and principall tried to tell me maybe he just isn't ready.
The second day he cried pretty much all day again but he didn't wet himself and my husband picked him up an hour early. Once he was in the office and the told him his Dad was coming to get him she started skipping around and playing and talking.
The third day he didn't cry until late afternoon. But they did call us about 12 to tell us he wouldn't take instructions from the teacher. The principal said at recess he didn't even play with the other kids. She asked him what was wrong and he was covering his eyes and he said "the sun is in my eyes" and he cried for his Mommy and Daddy. He did cry so hard he had an accident again, he did eat lunch every day except the last day.
Then I talked with the principal and the teacher and they both said again maybe he isn't ready. I talked it over with my husband and we both agreed we can't send him to school crying everyday so we took him out. But I talked to the principal about getting him into some pre-k program and she tried to help me out. I went all over town and I was turned away again because our income and his age. Everyone I talked to said maybe you just need a new teacher.
I was referred to special services at the district office so I called them at my wits end hitting a wall everywhere I went. And she told me that is ridicules we have all kinds of kids in school that cry(even 3rd and 5th graders) that doesn't mean he isn't ready. I told her he doesn't take instructions and she said he will learn. And she also said that she rather him be in school then not, and I agreed I told her even if we keep him out of kindergarten this year I want know what we can to make sure this doesn't happen again next year. I told her I think he needs to be around kids and he is very shy and needs to get to know you and get comfortable before he takes instructions from you. She talked to the principal at the school and they worked out a plan that he and go half days and my husband can go with him until he gets comfy ect.
Well, needless to say he went back to school today a half day my husband said he didn't cry for 45 mins then he started. They had recess and my husband told him to go play with the kids and he did and had a good time. After lunch they played again this time he ran and played all on his own and had to be called back to class by the teacher.
My husband said he hid behind the curtain in the gym during PE and he cried and little then he poked his head out of the curtain and he stopped crying. My husband said he won't do any work all day he just stared into space.
I just don't know what to do maybe he really isn't ready or he is just sacred he told me he was but I don't know it that is really it. Even at home when I try to work on any writing with him such as his name he cries. He loves me to read books to him and me teaching him how to spell some of the words in the books. They told me a few things I and do like send him to school with a picture of Mom and Dad and get books on going to school which I have done. Please help me out here do you think it’s mostly separation anxiety or maybe he isn't developmentally ready or scared please let me know your thoughts sorry I was so long winded it’s a long story.
He started kindergarten on Aug 10 her cried the whole first day and got go upset he fell asleep and then wet himself once he got relaxed. The school called me and I came to pick him up a little early. The first day the teacher and principall tried to tell me maybe he just isn't ready.
The second day he cried pretty much all day again but he didn't wet himself and my husband picked him up an hour early. Once he was in the office and the told him his Dad was coming to get him she started skipping around and playing and talking.
The third day he didn't cry until late afternoon. But they did call us about 12 to tell us he wouldn't take instructions from the teacher. The principal said at recess he didn't even play with the other kids. She asked him what was wrong and he was covering his eyes and he said "the sun is in my eyes" and he cried for his Mommy and Daddy. He did cry so hard he had an accident again, he did eat lunch every day except the last day.
Then I talked with the principal and the teacher and they both said again maybe he isn't ready. I talked it over with my husband and we both agreed we can't send him to school crying everyday so we took him out. But I talked to the principal about getting him into some pre-k program and she tried to help me out. I went all over town and I was turned away again because our income and his age. Everyone I talked to said maybe you just need a new teacher.
I was referred to special services at the district office so I called them at my wits end hitting a wall everywhere I went. And she told me that is ridicules we have all kinds of kids in school that cry(even 3rd and 5th graders) that doesn't mean he isn't ready. I told her he doesn't take instructions and she said he will learn. And she also said that she rather him be in school then not, and I agreed I told her even if we keep him out of kindergarten this year I want know what we can to make sure this doesn't happen again next year. I told her I think he needs to be around kids and he is very shy and needs to get to know you and get comfortable before he takes instructions from you. She talked to the principal at the school and they worked out a plan that he and go half days and my husband can go with him until he gets comfy ect.
Well, needless to say he went back to school today a half day my husband said he didn't cry for 45 mins then he started. They had recess and my husband told him to go play with the kids and he did and had a good time. After lunch they played again this time he ran and played all on his own and had to be called back to class by the teacher.
My husband said he hid behind the curtain in the gym during PE and he cried and little then he poked his head out of the curtain and he stopped crying. My husband said he won't do any work all day he just stared into space.
I just don't know what to do maybe he really isn't ready or he is just sacred he told me he was but I don't know it that is really it. Even at home when I try to work on any writing with him such as his name he cries. He loves me to read books to him and me teaching him how to spell some of the words in the books. They told me a few things I and do like send him to school with a picture of Mom and Dad and get books on going to school which I have done. Please help me out here do you think it’s mostly separation anxiety or maybe he isn't developmentally ready or scared please let me know your thoughts sorry I was so long winded it’s a long story.
Yes, things have certainly changed in kindergarten these days. I think we even had nap time when I was in kindergarten.
Perhaps your sons teacher could spend a little extra time geting to know your son, showing him a little extra attention. I know she has a classroom full of kids but this would go a long way for him, I think. He needs to feel safe and cared for there. My son---- with his delay---- always has to have rapport with teacher. We went before school started and met her and walked all around the room and school to help him feel comfortable. He just must feel out of his element.
Also, having a friend is invaluable. Even just one friend can help him to feel excited about school. Ask his teacher who a likely canidate for this would be and work on it. Set up a playdate and foster this relationship.
My son came home yesturday with sheets where on the first day he had to not only write his name (which we've worked on a lot) but the names all of his classmates. This was the first day---- I can't wait to see what they are writing on the last.
Good luck!
Perhaps your sons teacher could spend a little extra time geting to know your son, showing him a little extra attention. I know she has a classroom full of kids but this would go a long way for him, I think. He needs to feel safe and cared for there. My son---- with his delay---- always has to have rapport with teacher. We went before school started and met her and walked all around the room and school to help him feel comfortable. He just must feel out of his element.
Also, having a friend is invaluable. Even just one friend can help him to feel excited about school. Ask his teacher who a likely canidate for this would be and work on it. Set up a playdate and foster this relationship.
My son came home yesturday with sheets where on the first day he had to not only write his name (which we've worked on a lot) but the names all of his classmates. This was the first day---- I can't wait to see what they are writing on the last.
Good luck!
Wow sounds like your little man did awesome. My son did really well on the drop off the first day of school my husband and I said "bye see you after school" and he sayed "see ya" we had to ask for a hug lol then a hour later he started balling. Maybe he thought we abondoned him or something.
Yes, I hear lots of boys are ready, I just feel he needs to around kids and a learn in a classroom setting. Even if her has to repeat or go into a preschool instead at least be would get use to it eventually.
One little boy was even picking on him making fun of him crying then the teacher told him to knock it off! This school seems to expect a lot from kinders such as expecting them to know how to write their names, write letters and sound them out, all colors shapes. It is one of the best schools in town. Jezz I remember when I was in school as long as you could color in the lines, write your name, and knew how to count and sang your ABCs you graduated kinder lol.
Yes, I hear lots of boys are ready, I just feel he needs to around kids and a learn in a classroom setting. Even if her has to repeat or go into a preschool instead at least be would get use to it eventually.
One little boy was even picking on him making fun of him crying then the teacher told him to knock it off! This school seems to expect a lot from kinders such as expecting them to know how to write their names, write letters and sound them out, all colors shapes. It is one of the best schools in town. Jezz I remember when I was in school as long as you could color in the lines, write your name, and knew how to count and sang your ABCs you graduated kinder lol.
My son just started kindergarten today! (After a few secret tears from Mama), I sent him off. He was very brave (I knew he was scared)--- but I kept a smile on my face and a posative tone. I took him to the bus and said bye with a quick hug and he was off. That is what his teacher told us to do. Lingering goodbyes make it worse, she says.
My son has a developmental delay, so I have lots of worries about him starting "real school" but that is one of the things school is for. They see a variety of kids with different challenges. Some with a disability, some with a delay, some who just have trouble adjusting.
Your poor guy needs lots of reassurance but I would keep trying with school. The fact that they accomadated him and are allowing him half days is fantastic. If this issue continues for a long period of time and you start to notice other issues cropping up, then you can reconsider.
I will tell you what our school really stresses, however, is emotional/developmental maturity. They would prefer a child to have this vs. knowing their abc's. Some kids are just not ready at an early 5 and probably more boys than girls. I didn't know when my boy would meet this criteria (can't start kindergarten at 12 ...) so we decided to give it out best shot. It wouldn't be a knock on your son if this turns out he is not ready. But keep trying this for now and see if he eventually settles in.
good luck!
My son has a developmental delay, so I have lots of worries about him starting "real school" but that is one of the things school is for. They see a variety of kids with different challenges. Some with a disability, some with a delay, some who just have trouble adjusting.
Your poor guy needs lots of reassurance but I would keep trying with school. The fact that they accomadated him and are allowing him half days is fantastic. If this issue continues for a long period of time and you start to notice other issues cropping up, then you can reconsider.
I will tell you what our school really stresses, however, is emotional/developmental maturity. They would prefer a child to have this vs. knowing their abc's. Some kids are just not ready at an early 5 and probably more boys than girls. I didn't know when my boy would meet this criteria (can't start kindergarten at 12 ...) so we decided to give it out best shot. It wouldn't be a knock on your son if this turns out he is not ready. But keep trying this for now and see if he eventually settles in.
good luck!
Thanks for the reasureance! I think eventally he will get over it too! This evening I was actually about to get him to write or copy some letters with a little help of course without crying. So that is a step closer!
It was very good do not be sorry it was long, its the really short one liners that are hard, LOL I will give you my thoughts, he is an only child and used to being with his parents, you are good caring parents this is obvious the way you write about him, I think you have to let him get on with it, drop him off at school and leave go back when school is done, ignore any crying, the school will cope with it, possibly he is aware it is causing you some anxiety and he is getting a reaction. It sounds as if your husband is staying with him, he will be fine once this all stops, so take a deep breath and a big step back, he will be okay ,the school will be able to cope. ,it doesnt matter if he doesnt play with the kids to start with .....he will eventually.
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