Help with 4yo in preschool

[fallgirl30]

I am concerned about my 4yo son in preschool.  He turned 4 right before the school year started.  Last year, we had to take him out of the 3yo program.  He kept hitting other kids.  He is a late bloomer, and definitely hyperactive.  We took him to a psychologist and after spending about 20 mintues with him, she pulled me into the room and said that he is really immature, and to take him out of preschool, he isn’t ready.  We took him to Children’s Hospital in Oakland, and the Doctor said that his issue was speech/language/communication.  We took him to the school district, and the speech therapist said there is no speech/language/commun. issue, but that he is clearly ADHD (we know this).  He goes to preschool 3 times a week.  He has more good days than not, and even the off days are nowhere near as bad as they were last year.  So, there HAS been improvement, and I am trying to appreciate that.  In the last week, he pushed someone and today, was aggressive with another child.  The teacher spoke with me, said she talked to him, and they had a timeout together.  I am just afraid that he is reverting back to his old ways.  On the other hand, I could be freaking out over nothing.  I just don’t know what ‘normal’ classroom behavior is, we didn’t have any of it last year!  I know kids get physical from time to time, like I said, I am just worried he is going to regress.  The first two weeks of school were beautiful, I couldn’t believe it (neither could his teacher).  Then, he, along with the rest of the class, started to relax and be themselves.  He isn’t doing anything the other kids aren’t, but of course, the teacher needs to tell me when something like this happens.  He understands that this behavior is unacceptable, but he has issues with self control and impulsiveness.  We are giving him an extra year of preschool, he will not be entering kindergarten next year. He is also an only child.  We stopped him from playing with his older cousins, he was being picked on, and learning bad habits.   Any thoughts/reassurance/advice/perspective?  It is appreciated, thanks.

Laura

[fallgirl30]

I realized that I did leave out some other background.  He is very good with me at home during the day, but when dad gets home, he gets a little out of hand.  I know it is the end of the day, and the start of what many parents call the 'witching hour'.  He has gotten better though.  We cut out food coloring, artifical flavors, and preservatives.  We also give him a high quality fish oil and vitamins.  ADD runs thick in DH's family, multiple adults and kids have been diagnosed and are taking meds now.  I have a feeling we will go the med route later (if it means it will help him be successfull when he enters grammar school).  I am also engouraged by what I have read regarding bio-feedback, we are looking into that, he has an appt. with his prediatrician next week.

[disciplinedoctor]

If you keep her in pre school, I am affraide she will be failing.