Aa
Aa
A
A
A
Close
Avatar universal

Help with Stepson

Hi all!
I met my bf over two years ago and he was a single dad; his two kids (15 yr old girl and 11 boy) are with him 4 days out of seven...Long story short, the mother left them when they were little and then came back to their lives about 3 yrs later, that was about 5 yrs ago.  The daughter now lives with her mom and only comes home on Sundays, the boy is still with us.  The problem now is that 1) his daughter can do whatever she wants when she is over because she is only there once a week and it drives me crazy; she would get up from eating and just leave her plate behind like she was at a restaurant.  She can just sit around and do nothing and have all her needs met. She left the house because after he caught her with a boy in her room (several occasions, different boys) he yelled at her, she didnt like it and moved out.
2) the boy doesnt listen, always is causing trouble, always does what we tell him not to do.  Talks back to his dad and has no problem telling people off.  Remember he is only 11.  My 8 yr old daughter sees this behavior and says to me: why does he do that? he is too hyper!'  The problem is my bf yells at him at lot but never follows through with his promises ex: if you keep doing that, i am going to send u to ur room.  He keeps it up, gets sent to his room and then comes out 2 minutes later and always tells me 'my dad always forgets anyway...'
It really bothers me because this kid is turning into a brat and there is nothing i can do about it because when i try to talk to my bf about his behavior all he says is "dont start with my kids" so I gave up!
Now I am thinking about moving out of the house we just bought because I am always angry and these kids are always making a mess and no matter how many times we ask them to clean up, they just dont!!!
I need HELPPP my bf is a great, hardworking guy but when it comes to his kids he has nothing to say!
2 Responses
Sort by: Helpful Oldest Newest
Avatar universal
Change has to come from your BF, he needs to be more strict with his son as if he says he is going to do something, then he has to do it. Its kinda hard because the kids are probably at an age when they feel they dont need to listen to their dad. Maybe see if they can all go to family therapy.

Until your BF decides to change and to not let his kids run over him, things wont change. And he needs to understand that you arent trying to hurt his children and are only concerned with the situation.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I would tell him this that he needs to enforce displine with the kids. I kinda understand his point with the daughter she is only there one day a week and he probally wants to spend that 1 day getting along not arguing. Have you ask the daughter to pick up her plate and clean up after herself.
Helpful - 0
Have an Answer?

You are reading content posted in the Child Behavior Community

Top Children's Health Answerers
189897 tn?1441126518
San Pedro, CA
Learn About Top Answerers
Didn't find the answer you were looking for?
Ask a question
Popular Resources
Fearing autism, many parents aren't vaccinating their kids. Can doctors reverse this dangerous trend?
Is a gluten-free diet right for you?
We answer your top questions about the flu vaccine.
Learn which over-the-counter medicines are safe for you and your baby
Yummy eats that will keep your child healthy and happy
Healing home remedies for common ailments