Well, #1, any psychologist will immediately recognize the problem, very easily.
You moved.
As far as she's concerned, she's living on a different planet. You have to remember that your perspective is not the same as hers. She doesn't have the same knowledge and comforts you do because she doesn't have the experience. If you never experienced moving to a different planet, how would you feel if you were forced to sleep in a different city of a different planet while your husband slept in a different city of the same alien planet. If you were a normal person, you'd feel insecure and you'd probably want to sleep with your husband.
That sounds rather silly, but seriously consider this. It's your perspective and what she's feeling. Moving is NOT the time to try and continue the same, lone routine you tried out earlier in the old house. She has a total of 15 months of experience in her life, and as a human being, she uses that 15 months of experience.
A new experience (sleeping in her own bed) coupled with moving (a new environment) is always difficult.
You can't expect things to work out if you try to make it from one extreme (being comfortably with you) to the next (alone in her own room). You have to make it gradual and slow. Everyone seemed to have given some good advice, but let me take it a step further.
To slow down the process, put some bedding in the room for her to sleep on. Over time, move the bedding away from your bed. If you inch it away every night, she won't notice for a long time. Then she'll wake up one morning and realize that the bed was a lot further than she remembered a week ago, and everything is totally fine.
Once you get her as far from the bed as possible, start trying to get her into her own bed, but put the same bedding in her room, and you sleep there. Then slowly inch the bedding away from her bed and soon start sleeping in the hallway if you wish, with the door open. You can go from sleeping right outside the bedroom door for a few nights to shutting the door and reminding her that you're still there. After a few more nights, move back into bed.
By doing it this way, you make it clear to her from an early age that you care for her enough to sacrifice your lone sleeping time and that you love her enough to understand her. It's a big step towards gaining trust and parenting help when she gets older. When she's a teenager, she can't use the phrase, "My parents just don't understand me." And that whole set of problems are out the window because from an early age, even if she doesn't have the ability to comprehend it, will know it in her heart.
My husband and I did not let our child sleep in our bed for the first several years of his life. No matter what we did, let him cry, whatever-- he did NOT sleep through the night. Never -- maybe 3 times in 2.5 years-- when he was extremely ill.
I was losing my mind. I did everything the drs told me to do.
Then finally, my husband did something --
1. He put the child in our bed, and
2. Turned on the television for the child to fall asleep, and
3.Stayed in the room until he was asleep, and then
4. He bought a bigger bed - because we needed more room if this was going to be a new habit.
And it was.My son slept through the night from that day on.
We put him in his own room now, because he is six -- and its WAY too crowded even in the King:)
However, one of us still stays with him to go to sleep, and the TV MUST BE ON or he cannot sleep.
So -- in short-- I did everything that the DRs told me to do, and no one in my house slept.
I did everything that the DRS told me NOT TO DO, and everyone gets a good night sleep.
That's exactly what I had to do; put my son's bed in my room. It may not work for everyone, but it got him used to sleeping in his bed while still having me near for comfort.
My 13-month-old starts out in the porta-crib next to my side of the bed, but always ends up in our bed (but we have plenty of room with a California King bed). She's in the porta-crib more than she used to be, though. Can you maybe transition your daughter that way? Into a porta-crib next to your bed...and then maybe move the portacrib into her room (maybe by gradually moving it towards your bedroom door, into the hall and then into her room)?
My sister had her kids "trained" to sleep through the night in their own rooms by the time she returned to work. But I've always been a stay-at-home/work-from-home mom and am much more of a go-with-the-flow kind of mom (and I just won't do the cry-it-out thing). I just want all of us to be able to get sleep and if that means a kid is in my room (on a crib mattress on the floor or in a crib), that's ok with me.