Help....What do I do next?

I have a son who will be 3 on 10/28/09...tomorrow. He is being sent home from daycare early everyday for hitting kids, teachers...not minding. He will bite the kids or the teacher if he doesn't get what he wants. He does not mind his teachers at all. At home he is not so bad but still has to be reminded all the time to be good. When he does not mind me or dad, I spank him or time out.....depending on how bad he was. When he gets sent home from school he gets spankings, and gets no tv or no toys and we talk to him about why he made bad choices that day. he talkes to us yet does the same thing the next day. He just pushes and pushes....he knows that what he does is bad....what can I do??? I can't spank him at school....

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

No you can't and, to be frank with you, it's not helping that you spank him at home. One conclusion you should reach uis that spanking him is not helping - it doesn't make sense to repeat things that don't work. It's also likely contributing to his aggressive behavior. After all, he sees that you strike him (via spanking) when you are upset/angry with him. That's not a lesson you should be conveying to him. It might help you to attend some parenting or behavior management classes so you can develop better alternatives. Now some of what he is doing indicates that he is developing an emotional disorder, and that will likely require professional intervention as well. I know you want what is best for your son, and right now you're making mistakes that you can correct.