Helping 3 1/2 year old manage frustration

My son  is 3 1/2 and I've noticed that he gets frustrated when he can't figure out how to do something.  For example if he's trying to put his sneaker on and it won't go on he gets frustrated or if he's using his Click Start computer and he can't figure something out his response is to meet the challenge with frustration.  Do you have any suggestions on how to help him learn to manage frustration? or is it just something he will learn over time?  

[JonJonsMom]

My son is 4 1/2 & having these same kinds of issues!  It was suggested to us previously that he had Autism Spectrum Disorder...But after realizing that he can't handle frustration we feel THIS is what is going on, not Autism.  My son will get frustrated when he doesn't WIN, or something is not going as he expects or he perceives something as too hard.  He gets upset, cries & wants to quit.  Thinking back this behavior started when he was around 3 or 3 1/2.  We've tried everything to help him deal & teach him it's not about winning & he can't be good at everything.  I share in YOUR frustration.  I'm not sure what to do at this point except take him to a therapist who can hopefully help him as well as my Husband and I to direct & guide him.  It is frustrating & heartbreaking to see them get so upset.  

[kg17]

First of all, its very important that the adults in you son's life model appropriate expression of frustration (doesn't help if Dad has a temper!).  Secondly, it will help him for you to use words when you see his frustration building, "Aww, that looks very frustrating when the blocks don't go together when you want them too."  This helps to give language to the feeling - kids are less likely to act out if they can be encouraged to use "words" to express the feeling.  It also demonstrates empathy.  Thirdly, children do typically get better at dealing with frustration as they grow and develop better coping skills.

[redneckmom]

Most children go through this.  However, when my son did this I would put the game away.  No ifs ands or buts.  Crying is not how to solve things.  Everyone gets frustrated now and again, but your 3 year old doesn't have the coping skills to deal with it quickly.  If you do have them, show him how.  He will learn by example and reaction.  If he cries and somebody fixes everything he wont stop crying to get things fixed.  If he screams and throws a fit when frustrated and then somebody fixes the situation, he is not going to stop screaming and throwing fits.  I think he will grow out of this given time and guidance and discipline.