Hospitalized

Yesterday i spent 11 hour in the hospital with my son because of his agression. My his is 8 years old and is adhd, and odd. Hit sister and brother and also 2 children I was watching. He was throwing objects across the room. He was put in inpatient. And he could be there up to 20 days but told maybe just a week depending on my son. I didnt want to put him in but his doctor was not helping me and his therpist thought it would be a good idea to watch him and to fix his meds.
I feel so torn because I know he needs the help but it darn near killed me walking out of the hospital with the door slamming behind me knowing that he was there alone and not being able to take him home with me.
My question is has anyone else had to go with this for there child and how did you handle it?

[RockRose]

rebbecca,  I know  you and I have a difference of opinion,  so maybe you don't want to hear what  i have to say,  but this seems EXTREME.  

An 8 year old who was throwing things (toys?) and then hit four children in the room is now hospitalized for up to 20 days?  

My jaw is dropped.  Did he hit them with weapons - like,  hammers,  or did he just punch them?

Is there more to this story or is this really as unusual as it sounds?

[rebbecca]

no he didnt use a weapon. head butt 1 child, punched the other, slapped and throw a football at sister face, pushed and kicked her, swung object at brother hit him in the face, throwing big toys around livingroom. outbursts ending in nose bleeds, he is adhd and odd. his med need to be changed, know longer working, doctor doesnt know what to do anymore. called therpist she thought it would be a good idea to take him in the hospital.

[rebbecca]

i just think you can be rude with you feedback. and i want positive feedback instead

[RockRose]

Im not being rude,  rebbecca,  I'm being surprised.  

I could have said my heart goes out to you,  which it does,  and somehow that didn't come out in the post.  My heart goes out to you.

Maybe this will be a wake-up call for him,  as well as allowing for adjusting his medications,  it will set a bar that this behavior won't be tolerated or he won't be living at home.  He just seems so young - he must be so frightened.

Do you have the chance to visit him daily?

[April2]

This does seem extreme for an 8 year old but I can understand your feeling helpless and not knowing what's the best thing to do. You do have to protect your other children, but I can understand how torn you must feel leaving your baby in the hospital! That had to be the hardest thing in the world to do! I hope they are allowing you to see him every day. He needs to understand that he hasn't been abandoned. Hopefully, it won't take as long as they're predicting and they can fix his medication. Once they have the proper dosage, things should be better, I would hope.

I didn't have a situation like you but I came close. Last year my then 14 year old daughter was depressed, cutting and even ran away a few times. I didn't know what to do. Our counselor kept telling us that if she cut herself again to take her to the local mental health clinic. I really resisted that because I was afraid that would make things worse. Finally, a few months ago I saw she had cut herself again and I told her I couldn't take it anymore, and took her down the the mental health clinic. They didn't admit her because they didn't feel like she was suicidal. They did interview her and released her. The whole time I was there, I was scared. I was looking around and saw how the doors were all locked and we had to be escorted by a guard. I knew it was because of the patients there for their own safety, but it still scared me. Finally, I asked my husband to pray with me while we were in the little room waiting for the counselor and I felt better after that. I don't know if I may ever have to take her there again but at least she knows how serious this is.

I think every family usually has at least one child they struggle with. You have to do the best you can think of to do for your child and for the rest of your family. I hope everything works out well and they can find the right meds and dosage so that things can be a little calmer at your house. God bless.

[Agiesmom]

Wow.  How scary.  Poor kid.  I know someone whose son was taken from the school to the mental hospital when he had a complete meltdown at school and started throwing stuff.  He was around your son's age at the time.  I think he was then put into a program at school for gifted kids--there was a low student to teacher ratio and he did very well in the program.  (I think he's ADHD, too, but I'm not sure what if any meds he is/was on.)

I hope you can visit your son often and that this ends up being a good thing for him when it's all said and done.

[April2]

Isn't that strange how it seems most kids with ADHD are also extremely bright and gifted? Sometimes I think they just are bored when they act out. Also, kids with ADHD can't take a lot of stimulation I think. It's like they get overloaded or something and don't know how to handle it.
I hope everything turns out well, too.

[laura1977]

Okay, I have a 5 year old little girl in kindergarten right now.  I ended up having to switch her schools last week.  One of the reason is there is a little boy in her class that got transfered into her class two week prior because he hit the teacher in his other class.  Well, he ended up hitting a little girl in the face in my daughters classroom.  He was also in and out of the office alot for causing problems.  Again he is only 5.  
I really feel sorry for you as a mother because I couldn't imagine how you must be feeling right now.  Has he ever been tested for autism?  
This little boy that was in my daughters class at her old school really needed help, and the one thing that upset me about the situation was it was like the school and his parents weren't doing anything.  That is why I think it takes a strong mother to do something like this.  
Have you ever thought about looking into his diet?  Some kids can't handle different food colorings well (red, and orange are the worse).  That could be something you might look into.  My brother would turn into a different kid if he had anything with those food colorings in it or too much sugar.  My mother made sure he didn't have that stuff.
I am sure that you are feeling like you are such a mean person for leaving your son there and that you couldn't do anything to help but this, but it is better that you did, because that other little boys parents at my daughters old school didn't seem to care what he did or who he hit.  

[rebbecca]

I am able to visit my son every day and can spend up to 2 hours with him depending on how many visiter he has that day. he seems to be doing better and he cant wait to come home. I cant either.
I changed his diet a couple of years back and it does seem to help. I know when he eats something he shouldnt have.

thank you all for your input!!!

[rebbecca]

what r the sign of autism?

[blessed father in ohio]

You say he has "odd" do you mean OCD? if so what are his triggers and what are the actions.
The violance has to be stopped FAST. I have watched to family members go down thet road and both were in jail before 16 years old. ADHD kids are VERY likly to do drugs and get into legal issues.

I know. I am a 37 year old father with ADHD/ OCD/ BI-POLOR/ complex PSTD/ Clinical depression/  borderline personality disorder/ and suffer panic/anxity attacks.

If I knew then what I know now, I might not have had my son, because these issues are so easily passed on to your children. I hope he does not have to suffer like I do every minute of every day.

[rebbecca]

he is odd, his triggers can be not gettin his way, having someone pushing his buttons, or just getting up on the wrong side of the bed. actions are hitting, banging his head, throwing objects, ect.
what is ocd? I hope things get better for u and your family!