How can I get my daughter to me nicer to her father?

I am a preschool teacher. Our 2 1/2 year old daughter attends school with me. I am pretty much with her 24/7. Her father works full time and doesn't get to spend aa lot of time with her. At night when he gets home she gives him hugs about 50% of the time. If she is sad, hurt, upset, angry, you name it, it is only mom that she wants. My husband knows that it is probably a  2 yr old issue but it still hurts his feelings. I sometimes think he stops trying to do things with her because he thinks she is going to turn him away again!!! I also need help with this issue because my daughter is driving me crazy and I have no time to myself. I need him to have a more positive relationship with her to help give me some balance in my life.

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

Dear Shan,

It's not surprising that your daughter turns to you - as you point out, you are with her during almost all of her waking hours. The only 'solution' to this matter is for your husband to play more of an integral role in your daughter's life.

Parents can't really expect a positive relationship to come from limited contact. It's up to the parent to establish a productive relationship, and particularly not to shy away simply because efforts might be rebuffed. That will only exacerbate the problem. You and your husband need to establish more of a balance if this situation is to change. The responsibility for change does not rest with your daughter - she will change to the degree that you and your husband can change.