How do I help my 10 mo old become more independent?

[planett]

My son is 10 months old and he had colic for 6 months.He still wakes up 5 times per night, once for a bottle and sometimes every hour for a pacifier. I am a stay home mother and I am around my son 24/7.  He cries if his father or anyone else wants to soothe him. He cries if Im in the kitchen and he is not allowed in or If I leave the room.  He wont stay in a play pen or anywhere alone for more than 10 minutes. I love him very much but I feel like maybe I've completely spoiled him.  They say it's not possible to spoil a child, but this kid has become completely addicted to me.  What am I doing wrong?  How do I teach him to be more independent?

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

Yes, pretty much you do have to let him cry it out, so to speak. This can be heartbreaking at first, because as a parent you don't want to see your child in distress. But you will not be hurting him by going through this process. You might want to read Richard Ferber's book titled Solving Your Child's Sleep Problem - it's a solid, practical, reliable guide.

[joanna hanna]

hello, my daughter was very spoiled and still is, i quess when i knew i could easally loose her,it is was hard to let her cry it out, but this is what we did and it was hard but she did learn it took a long time several months infact, we did it slowely at first we only left her for 15min at a time and then as she became more comfratable we increased the amount of time to 25 min and so in 10 to 15min increases. know she is 3 and one of the most independant, active, and well adjusted kids you could ever meet.  good luck and be strong he will get more independent.

joanna
katelynn 3 (tcs, spinal lipoma, cong scoliosis, mild dev delays, hypotonia, seizures, bilateral renal reflux, and mild bi-cuspid valve insuficiancy)

[planett]

Doc, what your saying makes sense.  But your really not giving me a straight answer on how to let him be without these things.Cry it out>?

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

Without knowing how you are responding to your son's behavior I can only speculate about what might help. But my guess is that you are indulging his wishes when he wakes up and when he cries at other times for your company. If you are,indeed, gratifying him at those times, you are reinforcing the behavior. And he will certainly change if you can change - that is the key. At his age, he should be sleeping through the night. He does not need a bottle and he does not need a pacifier, though he understandably now wants these things. He will do without so much of you attention if you teach him to be a bit more independent, and to do that you are going to have to let him learn to be without you, or the bottle, or the pacifier, etc. at times.