Child Behavior Community
How do I help my son?
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How do I help my son?

I am honestly beside myself with how to help my son. I feel like something is off with him but no clue as to what if anything it could be. He's always been a handful (he's 6) and exhausts me. He has always been hard to discipline, doesn't seem to understand that what he has done is wrong etc or learned from his mistakes. Lately he's been stealing and lying. He's stolen stuff from stores, grandmother and us. With the stores he's been made to take the item back and apologize to the manager but as soon as he's out of the store he acts like nothing happened. In the past three weeks he's stolen something from a store, taken money twice from my husband and myself, taken items out of our neighbors trashcan and stolen and buried half the jewelry in my jewelry box. He also got caught with another boy trying to steal toys out of a neighbors garage last week.

He seems very confidant at home but at school his teacher says he seems to lack self esteem. He does tend to go in cycles with his behavior as well. We'll have good weeks and then he just bottoms out and acts up all the time. Today he was sent to the principle for acting up several times then bit himself and blamed another student. When asked about this he said he was trying to get this other boy in trouble because last yr this boy peed on the floor and my son was blamed for it.

I just don't know what to do anymore. I feel so helpless.
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Avatar_m_tn
Hi,
  I saw your more recent post and went back to reread this one.   Tough situation!  A counselor - a person that you can spend time with and look at all possibilities is a good idea.
  The fact that he is off and on - good weeks and bad - would seem to eliminate things like ADHD.
  You being Pg may be a big factor.  What grade is he in school and how old is he - in otherwords, is he a little younger or older then the rest of the kids?
   I wonder about the other boy that he was caught with trying to steal toys from the garage.  The two of them may be hatching things up out of boredom.  Or one of the boys may be leading the other on.  Are they both the same age?
  I definitely think it is time to get him involved in something to use up some of his spare time.  Especially if he and the other guy have a lot of free time to let their imaginations   run wild.  
  6 year old males are a crazy age.  I would probably watch or limit some of the TV and movies he might be watching.  Probably wouldn't hurt to limit his sweets.  Get him involved in helping set up the new babies room.  Start telling him that now he needs to be the big brother and acting like one so he will be able to protect the baby.
  There is also the book, SOS, Help for Parents - by Lynn Clark, that has been recommended highly by others.
   Good Luck
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Avatar_f_tn
Thanks for replying. My son is 6 yrs old and in the 1st grade. He is younger than most since his birthday is in July. The boy he was out playing with is in the 5th grade. He has always played more with older kids than his own age for some reason. He hates playing with kids his own age, he's not into playing cars or games they play.

He just started cub scouts a week or so ago and it seems very involved so I'm hoping that helps.
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Avatar_m_tn
Glad to hear he is in the scouts.  Use that to help keep him occupied.  Try and make a little time to work with him on the badges.  Remind him of their code of honor.  Might want to limit his playing time with the 5th grader - he could be picking up some of his ideas from him. The idea to steal things just doesn't naturally happen. And yes, he is young for his age in school, but that should  get better as the year moves on. However, it also could explain some of his behavior
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