How long do I let my baby cry?

[Tina_its_a_boy]

My son is almost a month old. He hates his crib and will only sleep in my arms. I am determinted to have him sleep in that crib. He has been crying off and on for a little over an hour tonight. Last night I only kept him in there for an hour and he cried pretty steady, tonight he is crying alot less. How long should I let this go on? The dr says only let him cry 5 minutes, but he will never learn that night time is sleep time if I do that. Others say let him cry until he falls asleep. I have a feeling that could be a while. I don't know what to do. Can anyone help?

[Cleveland Mom]

He is too young to let him cry for any extened period of time.  Your doctor is correct.  He needs to be comforted and held after 6 minutes.  This is an important part of the bonding/attachment process.  When he is about 5-6 months of age you can help him learn to self-soothe, allow him to cry longer periods of time in order to go to sleep.  I know that you are in a very hard position.  Both my kids cried constantly from birth to about 5 months unless they were held.  I have met many other moms who went thru the same thing.  Do you have others who can help you with your baby so you can get some rest?  Best wishes...

[mum2beagain]

Please follow your doctors advice and don't let the baby cry for too long at the moment, he is very young and needs you to sooth him right now, there is plenty of time to get him used to sleeping in the crib on his own. Rock, sing, nurse, use a swing or car seat, basically do what you have to to get your baby to sleep. My baby is five months old now and we have been letting him cry a bit longer for the last couple of weeks but even at this age never longer than 10 - 15 minutes and only if it is his 'too tired to fall asleep cry' as I call it!. In time you will get to know the different cries your baby has and you will recognise the cry that means he is just over tired, even then babies still need to know you are still there with pat on the back, a shush or some comforting words.

[cnhgilbert]

I definitley agree with the others who commented.  Your baby is way to young to "cry it out" for more than a few minutes.  Babies need to be held, snuggled, and reassured that when they cry, their needs will be met.  They need to know that Mommy is there for them when they cry, and that their cries will not be ignored.  I never did the "cry it out" thing with my babies, either until they were much older.  Also, babies as young as yours get hungry very often, so your baby may be hungry, even if you think he/she just ate and couldn't possibly be hungry, I would try nursing/bottle feeding to make sure that the crying isn't for food.  Good luck, and remember they are only tiny babies for a very short time.

[cardsfan]

You should not let your one month old cry it out. He is way too young! At this age, they need to learn trust and comfort. You need to provide that too him with holding and cuddling. At about 5 months of age, you can start to let them cry it out. My son, who is now 4 had to be held alot as a infant. By 5 months, we did the cry it out and it worked. It took 2 nights and then he was sleeping thu the night! I also thought he would never like his crib, but they adapt! Good luck to you! Remember this time of no sleep does end!!

[fitzy11]

please,please,please listen to the advice of all the other posters. at 1 month a baby is way too young to cry it out. he will eventually adjust to his crib, don't worry. enjoy holding, rocking him now while he is so small for it goes by very quickly.

[ShamansMommy]

HOLD YOUR BABY...PLEASE!!! Think about it like this. He came into existance inside your body, connected to you. He spent apprx. 10 months inside u, thats pretty much as long as he has been alive. I seriously doubt after 4 weeks of being out of your warm, cozy womb that he is ready to sleep alone in a crib. What is it that u are doing that is so important that u cant hold ur precious son? He needs u, needs to know you will be there when he calls. I have a 7 week old daughter so believe me, I know how you feel. But as someone said before, they are only babies for such a short time. You are the only one your baby wants. Cherish that. There will come a day when u will long to know where he is at night and that he is ok. Now is the only time you can rest assured that he is safe and secure because you are the one keeping him that way. This time is fleeting. One day we will sleep again. =)

[bip]

I agree with the other post. My son when he was a baby I didn't let him cry I rocked him all the time. I wouldn't let him cry to young I was his secured it will get better.

[winnet]

I've found it much easier to have baby in the bed with us. She almost never cries at night and sleeps really well - all snuggly and happy cause she knows
we're close and she's safe : )

http://www.askdrsears.com/html/7/t071000.asp

[1212mom]

my struggle is that i wanna hold, cuddle and rock my baby to sleep. my husband doesnt agree and wants me to put him down and let him cry it out. he will put him in his crib and let him cry till he falls asleep witch can be 20 mins. plus. and now our 5 month old son cries when dad is holding him and i leave the room. im not sure if thier related but it seems strange.

[margypops]

I understand you concern we do not like to hear our child cry I think 20 mins is okay how about you take it in turns to put him in his crib,dont leave the room, both go in if you want and then put him in his crib and leave.Maybe your Baby has learned you are the sofetr touch and will get to be cuddled more,Dad is a tougher nut to crack, but if you give him lots of cuddles then pop him into the crib,he will get into that habit ,be consistant every night with the same routine, you will be glad you did...PS this is a 2 year old thread..

[c_jack]

try to not have your baby in bed with you as some posts have suggested. its an awful and most unforgiving situation if you were ever to roll on your baby. But yes, I agree with everyone...your baby is too young to know the difference between self-soothing and rejection of a parents comfort. in fact, babies are "on demand" criers until they at least hit 3 months. They will only receive our lack of meeting their immediate needs as rejection at that age....which can cause problems for you in the future (check out anxiety separation, which usually happens to babies who are not secure in their parents or when leaving them too early can cause fear rather than training in the future). plan to be attached to your baby for a while right now, we've all been there and despite the lack of sleep...we've made it through right along with you. hope this helps and good luck....with much patience.