How much eye contact is normal?

[Gayle00]

I'm really worried and hope that someone can help me.

How much eye contact is normal in a 2-yr-old? My daughter who just turned two used to have excellent eye contact up until 20 months old. Recently, I notice that that has reduced. She seems very easily distracted and rarely makes eye contact. She tends to focus on whatever it is that has her interest - maybe a toy I'm holding in my hand, or a rose on a rose bush, or even the TV etc. She does not respond to her name at all and that may be because different people used different 'nick names' for her. I recently instructed her grandparents, and her father and siblings, to only call her by her given name. So far, this has seemed to bring some success. But even when she turns to respond to her name, she doesn't really look into my eyes, looking instead at my hands to see if I have anything in them. I'm very upset about this. Could this be autism?

When I'm singing a song, her eye contact is EXCELLENT. She loves music, and when I sing or when she needs to request me to play music on TV / computer, her eye contact is superb, and long-sustained.

Please help me. Is she going to be OK? Is this autism? Her speech is delayed too and I'm very worried about her.

Thank you for your assistance in this regard.

-Gayle, mom to Amanda, aged 2.

[jdtm]

Your description reminds me of our nephew when he was a child.  He did not speak until his third birthday and did not comprehend language until about five years of age.  He echo-talked for a couple of years before being able to answer any questions.  He also could count, repeat the alphabet and read at an early age (he did not understand any of these - just has an excellent memory).  He loved music and was surprisingly good in this area, even from a very early age.  He was very slow in learning "physical" things as riding a bicycle, cutting with scissors, using eating utinsels, catching a ball, etc.  His social skills were almost nil and still has difficulty making friends (although he has a few good friends who seem to understand and accept him).  Today, he's a good and honest man.

He has been diagnosed with PDD-NOS which is a high functioning form of autism.  By the way, he graduated high school, a one-year course in college and holds a relatively high-paying union job.  He has a good life and enjoys his job and family.  But, early intervention is the key if autism is the issue.  A lot can be done to ensure a happy and fruitful life.  I wish you the best ...

[Gayle00]

Hi,

Thank you both so much for responding.

To give more information, I am mainly concerned about her receptive language (or lack thereof). She is also very low on compliance. I took her for a speech therapy evaluation and an assessment showed that she has the receptive language of a 3-month-old (she is almost 26 months!)

The speech therapist said that she may not be complying because she does not understand most of the directions issued to her. So, I began to work on simple directions at home (such as "give me", "take this", "come here", "go there" etc) but she won't comply even though we have done a lot of hand-over-hand with her and / or modeled these for her countless times. She also gets an hour of speech therapy a week via private pay / insurance.

I am so worried about her. I just contacted my county's Early Start program to get her evaluated because something just does not seem right to me. She is not ritualistic, does not flap her hands, does not walk on tip toes, does not tantrum / melt down when her routine / schedules are changed etc. The only thing that worried me are her eye contact and her lack of understanding of basic language. Also, she does not seem to know a lot of things that most 2-yr-olds seem to know.

She is hyper active and her gross motor skills are advanced but her fine motor skills are not that good. She does not know to blow bubbles (which many 2-yr-olds have been seen doing) and when seen side-by-side by her peers seems terribly 'behind'. She knows all of her alphabets, can identify both capital letters and small letters when shown these letters, and recites them. She also knows all of her numbers from 1 to 10 and counts both forwards and backwards. She knows her colors and shapes, too. She can talk (since she can count, name colors & shapes, and name the alphabets on demand) but her lack of basic language freaks me out, but cannot drink out of a cup, or use a spoon or writing utensils. She seems almost obsessed by the stuff that she does know. .

Please help me. How do I improve her receptive language and compliance at home?

[melipops]

Hi, I would get her checked out by your Paed and see what they have to say. There are many kids with low eye contact at this age. Her speech is not too much of a problem at this age. Have you had a hearing test done recently. Does she swim a lot as this can cause ear infections and in turn hearing loss. Hope this helps take care

[Sandman2]

   I've never understood why people think that kids should look at the eyes.  Yes, if your eye is painted different colors, but there is very little there to draw their attention.  At this age, of all of the autistic markers, I think that eye contact is weak.  Not sure what you are basing your comments on about her speech.  Google two year old benchmarks for an idea of what is appropriate.  And, of course, if you are concerned after doing more research, get professional help.  If she does have autistic symptoms, the sooner she starts therapy, the greater the chance for full recovery.