How should I deal with my 2 yr old's father, and what do I tell my son?

I have a 2 yr old son with a man who turned out to be a felon and have a drug habit. When I got pregnant, he pushed for an abortion and eventually left me, citing other family problems. I convinced him to come to the hospital when my son was born. He saw my son 4 times afterwards in 6 mos, and has had no contact with him since. I had to push for him to meet up each time. Sometimes he would stand us up or make excuses about why he couldn't come or take an active part in his life. He hasn't paid a penny in child support.

Well, he went back to jail for parole violation last year and went through a 9 month rehabilitation program of sorts. I filed child support during that time, just to get his name on the birth certificate. I felt my son deserved to have a name under "father". But I never expected to receive money or any contact from his birthfather.

Now my son's 2nd birthday has just passed, along with Father's Day, and I am getting phone calls from the father. He wants to apologize. He wants to be my friend. He says when he gets a job he'll start paying child support. He says he knows I won't let him be around my son, but if I change my mind...

I'm so confused. My trust has been broken. I don't know if he has really changed, or if he is capable of being a good parent. I worry about introducing him into my son's life. What should I do? Should I try to get them together, or just leave things as they are? My son is happy, intelligent, and has great relationships with me and my family. Do I risk hurting him by bringing his dad back into the picture? And if things don't pan out well, or if I decide not to involve the father, what do I say to my son when he starts realizing other kids have daddies around and he doesn't?

[penswriter]

Think about what is best for your child. Do you think having time with this man is what's best? Do you think this man will be a good influence on him? Do you want to risk the possibility of this man breaking your sons heart when he gets tired of playing daddy?

As far as when your son realizes daddy isn't around, you can always tell him the truth that daddy wasn't ready for a family yet but mommy loves him so much that she kept him all to herself. or something that will just help him understand why daddy isn't around. my mom and dad divorced when i was 2 1/2. he wasn't around a lot but i did see him 2 days out of the month. I do remember asking her why everybody elses dad lived at home but mine didn't. she cried but told me it was b/c daddy wasn't ready for such a wonderful little girl but she was and loved me more than anything else in the world. i think i was 4. a few months later my brother arrived. which made things a bit easier (she left brothers dad when brother was 6 months old and after his dad beat me...i was 4) i'm 25 now. and now i understand why they divorced. they just didn't like each other. i do have a sort of relationship with my dad now with children of my own. luckily they don't realize grandma margie and pappy john never visit together. lol. or that uncle jt and uncle billy don't come around when uncle chad does (j and billy are from dad and his 2nd wifes marriage while chad is from moms bf after she divorced my dad...it's a whole hot mess)