How to change bad behavior in a 5 yr old boy,

My son is 5 yrs old and very defiant, destructive and out of control. He doesn't listen to anything we say he screams and throws fits anytime he hears something he doesn't like. We have tried timeout he screams and throws tantrums the whole time. When he gets punished he gets sent to his room and comes out anyways. We also have tried taking things away such as toys, games, outside  privlidges and nothing works . We have resorted to spanking him which makes him scream and throw fits even more. And even then he is back to behaving badly again within minutes. He is not always bad but 75% of the time is screaming behaving badly or punished.I don't know what else to do I feel he won't listen to me he thinks it's funny to disobey us..Any advice will be greatly appreciated ... PS. I am not willing to medicate him to solve the problem I feel there must be something else I can do...

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

Follow the guidelines in Lynn Clark's book SOS Help for Parents (see www.sosprograms.com).