I am so lucky to have married a wonderful woman with a very intellegent nearly 13 year old daughter. I have been the only father figure this child has or had since she was 5 years old. The problem is that when I try to discuss "how the day went" or "how's the horse doing (that was a Christmas present) today," I get no responce or leave me alone, I don't want to talk about it.
It's very trying on our relationship let alone the relationship between her mother and I. I get to the point that it's not worth fighting it and just stay out of the way and keep to myself in my room.
What to do?????????????
Probably the focus needs to be on what is generating the alienation. Now, it's common to think that parents and stepchildren will have some conflict in their relationship because "you're not my parent". But this is not necessarily so - it depends. It depends on many factors: the personality makeup of the child and stepparent, the relationship of the child with the biological parent(s), the particulars of the day-to-day interactions, the nature of developmental influences (e.g., early adolescence), and others. You might arrange a few sessions with a family therapist or a child/adolescent therapist with the intention of clarifying the nature of the conflict - i.e., why the conflict is occurring. Only then will it be possible to figure out what you can do about it.
She is maybe thinking that she is not important in the family.
She is only exsisting.
And that what she feels, nobody really cares about.
I fear this is extremely common,I would wish a wealth of information on this subject could be available to us.
I have found that talking needs to be their idea, so you need to find away for her to talk. When this happens really really listen to her. You will find she that she loves to have you attention!
The Content on this Site is presented in a summary fashion, and is intended to be used for educational and entertainment purposes only. It is not intended to be and should not be interpreted as medical advice or a diagnosis of any health or fitness problem, condition or disease; or a recommendation for a specific test, doctor, care provider, procedure, treatment plan, product, or course of action. MedHelp is not a medical or healthcare provider and your use of this Site does not create a doctor / patient relationship. We disclaim all responsibility for the professional qualifications and licensing of, and services provided by, any physician or other health providers posting on or otherwise referred to on this Site and/or any Third Party Site. Never disregard the medical advice of your physician or health professional, or delay in seeking such advice, because of something you read on this Site. We offer this Site AS IS and without any warranties. By using this Site you agree to the following Terms and Conditions. If you think you may have a medical emergency, call your physician or 911 immediately.