How to get my 3 (nearly 4) year old son to #2 in the toilet?
He is a bit over 3 and 1/2 years old. I am at my wits end. He will go #1 in the toilet fine.. has that one down, even when we are out somewhere. He lets us know and he never has accidents with that. Its the #2 he can't seem to master. And for a while now he has absolutely resufed to even try. I try to get him to stop playing and go sit on the toilet and its a fight every time. He'll tell me he doesn't have to go... and even if I make him go sit he doesn't go. Then 10 minutes later I'll find him huddled in the corner or hiding from me cause he's went in his pants!!!!! We've tried taking away privaleges and time out, but nothing has worked. I've even made him help clean it up, and then thrown away his favorite undies and at the moment he's upset but by the next day he's moved on and seemingly forgotten about it. I tell him he can't go to school untill he learns to go in the toilet and though he says he wants to he doesn't even seem to try. He doesn't think about it untill he has done it and then fears his punishment. I just don't know what to do.
I feel like a failure as a parent, mostly because it seems I am alone in this and everyone I know in my daily life had their children train by or before they were 2! And they don't hesitate to ridicule me and my son. I'm not a lazy mother and my son's not got learning disabilities or anything like that. He is very smart and learns most things quickly. I just don't get why he doesn't want to do this.
Is it best to just forget about it and let him decide? And if so... what do I do when he's not able to go to preschool because he isn't potty trained!
The more you push the issue with him, the more problems and resistant you will get from him. Children get potty trained when they decide it is time. Parents get anxious about it, but it is ultimately up to the child. Try to be positive about it. Ask if he has to go, if he says no, no problem. He will eventually want to go on the potty. As far as school, he may not have to go #2 at school. Does he go every day? Preschoolers do have accidents and usually the school wants the parent to send an extra set of clothes just in case. You can say to him that the children at preschool will be potty trained. He may think "I should be too".
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