How to help a child with fear of dying?

[linde218]

Over the last month, on a nightly basis at bedtime, my 10 year old son voices his fear that he is going to die and not wake up.  He does have mild asthma and nothing traumatic has happened that we know of.  We try to assure him that he is fine and there is no reason to feel this way but he cries uncontrollably until he finally falls asleep.  Most nights it is a 2-hour ordeal.  This is VERY stressful for us as parents not to mention his little sister who is right next door.

We are at a loss on how to help him.  Note that we have contacted the doctor about this and they do not find any physical reason for this to be happening all of a sudden.


This discussion is related to Fear of death.

[Abby202]

Something has made him believe he is going to die.  Try to find out where it came from.  It may be difficult for him to tell you.  

[mammo]

Talk to your child and ask "why" he is suddenly having this fear.  I agree with sandman and I know the prayer she speaks of and it used to scare me.  Try playing soft music, or allow him to read or watch a video until he falls asleep.  He's losing two hours of sleep now, and you he's tired when he goes to bed and will fall asleep while reading or watching a movie.  Just laying there in the dark gives him nothing but time to think about this, so occupy his mind.  If he has a DVD player for the car, let him use that to watch a movie while lying in bed, he'll nod off.  Good luck and take care.

[jayne40]

Hi - I like the ideas from Sandman, it's so easy to make the child feel you aren't taking it seriously - I used to think Alien were outside, but my mum just laughed, I stopped tell her anything!
I'm hoping it's just a stage - I have just posted similar question about my 6yr old.
Good Luck.
x

[Sandman2]

   Reminds me of the prayer my grandmother used to have us say at night, "now I lay me down to sleep," etc.  It spooked the heck out of me at about that age.  So I guess kids are suggestible.
   I wonder if there is something that you can do to let him know that as silly as his fears are - you are monitoring him.  Put a monitor in his room, heck put a video camera in there - something to let him know that you are watching over him?
  Also, this fear must have come from somewhere.  If you can identify that, then perhaps you can solve the puzzle.

[Abby202]

I grew up fearing that I would die.  I did not tell my parents that I thought I had cancer.  I became afraid to close my eyes at night and go to sleep thinking I would never wake up and see day light again.  I could only safely go to sleep when the sun came up because I thought I had made it another day.