How to help my 5yr.old son make friends & like school

[AmyPettus]

My 5yr.old son is having a very hard time making friends he has a weight problem which we are working on at this moment so he cant keep up with the other kids in his class. he is a very shy child and the neighborhood we live in has no other children for him to play with, he is not used to being around other kids so he is to scared to talk to the other kids when he finally worked up the nerve to ask another child to play with him the little boy didn't want to play with him. my son has Bi-Polar & ADHD (a bad connection) so he's on medication to help him but unfortunately the bi-polar medication doesn't seem to be helping. One day I decided to peek in on him while he was at recess and when I seen him out there I almost started to cry he was walking around with his head down crying he seen me and took off running to me I had to take him back over there even though I really wanted to take him home. from what he tells me he does that every day at recess,also when he comes home all he wants to do is sleep I ask him how how his day went and he say it was bad and begs me not to make him go back tomorrow. If anyone has any advice on my situation PLEASE,PLEASE HELP I open for any suggestion's and/or advice.                                                        thank you                                                                                                                    A Desperate Mother

[specialmom]

I'm so sorry----  It absolutely breaks a mother's heart to see their child struggle amongst their peers.  My son was 4 and it was actually observing him on the playground that I decided to everything in my power to help him achieve what he wanted-----  have friends!  He has a delay called sensory integration disorder----  a nervous system delay like ADD but medication isn't effective.  We do occupational therapy for it.  He had social issues too and we've worked really hard on it.  Our neighborhood is not great for playmates either so we too it to the park.  We go almost every day and walk up to kids and ask to play.  Sometimes people will, sometimes they won't---- but that is real life.  When I play with my son (tag, super heroes, starwars, chase, etc.  Yes, I play too)----  kids almost always come up to us because kids of that age love to play with moms for some reason and not too many moms get up and play like that.  Anyway, we practice our social skills then.  I get in on the conversations and help if need be.  We also did some social skills training----  an occupational therapy office in your area might have that.  We did some camps where skills were taught to kids.  I can give you some ideas for that if you need them.  Make sure he knows what other boys his age are talking about (star wars, super heroes, transformers and your weight doesn't matter for that!)  You will be surprised the benefit for upping his physical activity---- besides weight loss it helps with mood tremendously.  I always recommended it to my clients in therapy.  A trampoline would be excellent.  He could jump some but even just run around the edge (netted, of course).  Then at school, talk to his teacher about this.  She should be more on top of how he is feeling on the playground and maybe get a game going with the kids all together or talk to them about including everyone.  A boy like your son just needs one friend at first----  maybe someone else who is having trouble.  Perhaps the teacher can get that going and direct it a little.  then on your part, set up a playdate with that child if possible.  Most of all, remain empathetic but posative.  You CAN help him have an easier time of it----  you just have to be creative and work on it.  That is my approach to my son.  Good luck

[91004]

All the meds are probly making him tired. When was he diagnosed with bipolar and what were his symptoms for you to take him to the doctor. Sorry I just find it crazy to diagnose a child with this at such a young age.