,Get him a special toy and dont mention it, instead give him Games, Ball activities, Distraction if hes upset it doesnt take long, how about a new a unusual sippy cup or a regular one for him to drink from, if you let it go he will, dont feed into it.Lots of Fun Reading and distraction.
Sorry...it sounded like I was implying that you were being pressued by people making snide remarks about it--I didn't mean for it to sound like that! I was just remembering how I people would make remarks (and he only used it at bedtime when he was 3 and older) and the comments were tough to take. One time, while checking out at Wal-mart, I had my son with me (then 3) and I had pacifiers in the cart--when she went to ring them up, she said, "PLEASE tell me you have a baby at home--TELL me these aren't for HIM!" I told her to mind her own business and do her job. So, that's what popped into my head when I wrote that comment above--I in no way was implying anything with you!
All the best to you! I know how tough this is!
My son had his pacifier until he was 4. He was totally addicted to it and very spirited and LOVED his binkie (I have a photo of him on the fridge at age 2 with six binkies--he found them in the suitcase while we were visiting my family). While I would occasionally read him a book called Bye Bye Pacifier, he would always say, "No way!" when I asked him if he wanted to do the same. I asked his pediatric dentist about it while we were in for a check-up when my son had just turned 4 and he said that as long as he stops using the binkie by age 5, the cross-bite will straighten out--that the last thing I want if for him to start using his thumb. I asked him to have a little man-to-man talk with him and he did and my son never used the binkie again after that talk. I have no idea why it worked that way, but it did.
If having it only at nap time or bedtime isn't working for you and you feel you have to take it from him, that's one thing, but don't give in to other people's snide remarks or judging comments. You're the one who knows what's best for your son and family and it has to be your decision.