How to view of daughter talking gender transition who has nothing else?

[DadLostMind]

My 19 year old daughter has been in her own world for many years.  She's never socially connected with anybody, and has always had trouble connecting with everybody.

3 months ago she latched onto a chapter in a Junior College psychology class regarding "transgender".  Since it's all the new rage, she also found AMPLE [absolutely nothing negative] online, YouTube videos, the whole works - a bizarre of positive reinforcement - to tell her her "symptoms" could only be - she was the wrong gender.

So here we are.  A young lady who knows nothing about the world, how to add money, how to work, or how people interact - yet a BIG WORD agenda found her introverted soul and told her she is a boy.  In the videos they all live life in their bedroom - her favorite life - and just transition with perfect video cuts from one scene to the next - Mom is there in some videos supporting [with a tired "glad she/he didn't kill her/his self look on her face] - and life is good.

...heartbreaking really.

Not looking for a solution maybe.

[MPastor]

I would not pay for, or accept anything, my children think they want, that is not good for them. My 19 yo had a girlfriend, and she was not the only one. She was head over heals for him and did everything he wanted. She is somebodys daughter. He is in college and does not have money to support his "girlfriends". I refuse to enable that playboy lifestyle. That does not mean I do not love him. I adore him. When he is old enough to pay for his life and lifestyle, he is old enough to determine what he wants in life and deal with the consequences accordingly. There are plenty of parents who applaud my sons behavior, especially men, or simply think of it as a rite of passage. They do not realize that actions have consequences. I have seen too many men waste their lives chasing skirts, getting women pregnant, and never finding real love. Sex addiction turns otherwise good men into monsters. They live horrible lives, and hurt other innocent people. I've seen men like that end up old, sick, penniless, and ironically ~unwanted. I do not give a crap what the world thinks is normal. I want my children to be good, healthy, people. It is NEVER too late for that to happen. No matter what happens, my advice will be moral and loving, and my conscience will be clear. You always have the option to not provide financial support to anything that you know does not help your child. Prayers and love work wonders.

I dont feel other people's moral decisions are my problem and don't judge. The reality is that all actions have consequences, and no matter how the "enlightened" Plastic Surgery industry tried to portray it, transgender lifestyles are not healthy. Breast Implants have caused men and women a lot of harm. Any medical devices in the body cause Biofilm, and are real health hazards. See healingbreastimplantillness.com Having to take a life time daily regiment of hormone replacements is no walk in the park either. It's all very expensive and health insurance doesn't cover "cosmetic" surgery problems even when they are deadly.

[DadLostMind]

My 19 year old has found that focusing on 'transgenderism' is another way to NOT focus on the work the rest of us must do to get by.  I'm heartbroken for her.  I truly am.  I've cried for her, with her, about her...but I'm not willing to be a You Tube parent controlled by my kids whims and ways.  The interesting thing is, there is NOTHING outside of this transgender movement she's considered and the source of her depression, anger, and/or extreme lack of desire...she admits this...but is very dramatic about her representation as this being the solution.  I've told her first you become independent so you can support yourself, THEN you become who you want to be.  Isn't this a simple concept??  Amazing how 'entitled' these young people are these days.  Even the mental illness of gender confusion now falls to the parents?  Not in my house.

[DoNotSpeakToThingsYouDoNotUnderstand]

"Having to take a life time daily regiment of hormone replacements is no walk in the park either. It's all very expensive and health insurance doesn't cover "cosmetic" surgery problems even when they are deadly." As a transgender person I can assure you none of this is accurate.

[Yukine]

Your child is going through a tough time in which they're struggling with their identity. As a parent I believe you should focus on supporting and listening to your child. Those two actions do wonders. I suggest you do your own research upon the idea of transgenderism. I also suggest finding a psychologist/therapist that centers around gender identity to help explain the basics/understand your child's ideas better. NOT to try and "fix" your child because nothing is wrong with them. I'm sure that their social problems come from their struggle/unsureness of their identity. Being unsure is synonymous with being insecure and being insecure with yourself makes it difficult to find friends. Your child just needs your love and support and I'd take the time to bring this to a professional. To get an idea of how your child feels, just think if instead of your child calling you mom/dad they called you the opposite. In your mind, your heart, you know in fact that you are mom/dad NOT the opposite. This is how your child feels and you should lend your ear and just give support during this time of searching for their true identity :)

[DadLostMind]

Listening and supporting.  She also knows she can have a puppy, when she has her own house and yard.

[schmoowhale]

Your child is going through something extremely difficult and important to them. The biggest thing you can do as a parent is LISTEN to what they are saying and try to support them as they navigate the formation and understanding of their own identity. I would probably assume that the reason your child has been so isolated from their peers is because of their struggles with gender identity, which can make them feel alone and very insecure. What I would recommend to you both discussing if you are open to it, is finding a licensed psychologist that has experience with transgender youth that can help your child deal with their gender identity and work through this process and discuss the steps they can take to feel more comfortable with themselves.

I've included some links to help you as a parent going through this that may help inform you about what your child is going through and help you deal with this as well.

http://www.transyouthequality.org/for-parents/

http://www.hrc.org/explore/topic/transgender-children-youth

I wish you both the best of luck with this journey, and just remember that your child is going through something that is very difficult emotionally and the best thing anyone can do for them is listen.

[DadLostMind]

Thank you.  Yes, we have her in counseling.  We've listened.

[A_human]

Sir, I understand you want the best life for your child, however she has her on life and you need to give her freedom. She needs your help and support in this difficult time of her life.
Being a teenager is tough. You have to take it from her perspective. Your pressure is just adding on to the stress of life decisions that she has to make. Never mind the hormones, amplifying these difficult decisions. Listen to her and support her even if you don't want to. You love her and nothing should change that.
Hope this helped. I, myself, am only fourteen and attempting to sound mature haha.

[Roxanne_]

I'm sorry this is happening to you and your family. <3

[DadLostMind]

Thanks.  I feel bad it is happening to her.  My honest opinion is she is a victim of a movement.  A movement that will enable her to ruin her life, and give her nothing in return.  It is very heartbreaking.