I am worried of his outcome in life.

I have two boys.  One is 8 and the other is 4.  I am really concerned about the older one.  Last year his Kindergarten teacher said that he had something weird about him but she could not pin point what it was.  Some examples were 1.  he talked to himself, 2.  seemed distracted,  3.  She would notice he would space off and when she would call him he would not respond until she either tabbed him on the shoulder or repeated his name more than 3xs.  Ironically he has good grades in school.  At that particular time, the teacher also mentioned to us that he was at a 2nd grade level for reading.  Yet she felt there was still something wrong with him.  "Daydreaming too Much" I worked with the school very closely for 2 reasons. One being that this was the first year this teacher taught and I questioned her creditability.  Secondly I was scared that my son would not be seen as normal. In addition, I took my son to the pediatric and told him what the teacher's feedback was.  I even asked him about ADD.  His response was that my son had no signs for this.  Then I requested to have his ears checked.  I took him to an Ear, Throat, & nose specialist and they found everything ok with him.   Now he is in first grade.  Earlier in the year, his teacher asked for a conference.  When my husband and I went, she told us that she & the kindergarten teacher had compared notes on my son and concluded that "there was something DIFFERENT about him, but again could not pin point it."  I was furious.  I assured her that my son  & his success was my priority in life (surpassing my career) and that I committed to work closely with him, but I will not tolerate her or any other teacher "comparing notes about my child's behavior"  much less having him BRANDED by the teachers as weird.  I asked her to please provide me feedback on her individual experience.  I do work very closely with my son.  And I do go to the school @ every other week to follow up on conduct and grades.   But one thing that I have found is that this teacher says that he acts differently.  I asked her for specific examples and they are as follows:  1 time when she was teaching, he got up and started looking for something.  2.  He was talking to himself.  3.  He fell asleep.  4.  He is distracted easily and is messy. I asked him @ this and his answers seem logical to me.  Am I being blinded by that "unconditional motherly love?"  Should I worry & to what extent? What is a normal child?  My son is very sensative and we have a very open communication style and he has learned to answer with honesty no matter the consequence.  Today he told me that during reading time he saw a BIG WORD.  He tried to ask the teacher and he said he got his feelings hurt because she did not let him finish the question and told him to go sit down.  He also says he gets bored.  From the age of 18months-5years he had 5 febile convulsions.  We took him to a neurologist and his test were ok.  Do you think this could of had a psychological effect on him?  I want to provide tools to my son to help him succeed in life.  I just do not know what else to do to get a better report or acceptance from the teacher.  

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

Dear Susana,

I think it would be wise to follow up on the observations of the teachers. Your son's behavior is suggestive of what we often refer to as a neurobehavioral disorder - i.e., a condition that has its origins in the general functioning of the brain (as opposed, for example, to stress occasioned by trauma or difficult life circumstances). ADHD is such a condition, but not the only possibility.

Your son is rather old for a first grader. Did he develop more slowly than normal during the pre-schoo,years?

It will be sensible to pursue some evaluation. In particular, psychological and/or neuropsychological testing might be in order as part of a diagnostic workup.