I believe my nine year old is molesting his three year little sister.

[Caseymom]

It all started when he was seven. My husband and I realized that my son was getting erections whenever his little sister sat on his lap. She was just over a year old. He has many behavior problems and had been through a lot of physical abuse before this happened. We do not believe that he has ever been sexually abused. About a month ago we caught him in his sister room in the middle of the night standing over top of her. We are unsure if he was able to do anything at that time. He told us that he was feeling strong sexual feelings toward me (mom) and his little sister. We have continually tried to expalin to him that it is normal to have sexual feelings but not toward his sister or mother. We started paying real close attention to his action while around his sister. He is always trying to look at her privates. We do not let them play in the same room together unsupervised. This morning my daughter got up and went in her brothers room to play when she woke up. My son nows that if she comes in his room that he is not allowed to be in there with her without supervision. We never thought to much about it because he just said he forgot. Tonight my daughter told me that her bubby touched her peachy and showed her his privates. He is already in counciling and they seem to say that it is jsut normal curiosity. I had an older brother and these things never went on between us, but I was molested by a step brother who was eight years older than me. My son knows right from wrong, but chooses to  do whatever he feels like and then tries to act crazy when he faces any consequences. I believe that my son is at the begining stages of a sexual predator or a *********. Can someone please give me some advice. I am ready at this poinnt o have him removed from the home by the police but am afraid that this will only make his problems worse and cause more problems for him later in life. What should I do?

[specialmom]

Dear, your nine year old son told you he had sexual feelings for you?  Let me just say as the mother of an 8 year old that I have trouble understanding how a 9 year old would learn to verbalize that.  This leads me to believe he's had a difficult life.  If he can verbalize sexual feelings at 9, he's been molested.  I know many kids at that age and they do not talk in a sexual way.  they speak of things like the new avenger's movie and sports or legos or the book they are reading for school.  Sex??  That goes right over most kids of 9's heads.  

Take your boy to a counselor.  And with all the abuse he's suffered, I'd expect some issues from him. You mention physicial abuse and I'm not sure who was doing this----  bio dad?  Did dad expose him to porn?  

Anyway, something is amiss here and look to your little boy as a victem of something and needing loving help.  You must protect your little girl as well====  move her into your room for now.  Keep him in his.  Get some counseling for him.  And you grow eyes in the back of your head and keep your three year old with you.  I've never met a three year old that didn't want to be with mom anyway----  so your job just got harder but you keep her with you so you  can make sure she's safe and then help your son--  figure out what is going on with him.  

good luck

[distresseddad362]

i came from a large close family with about 25 cousins, we all were like brothers and sisters , we are all adults now. and it came out about 2 years ago that my oldest cousin had touched one of my cousins then another came out then another, in total 7 have came out and noone had any idea of the others . it is a hard one to know , i also have a son with behaviour problems and the worry has crossed my head . to ease my head i bought a motion activated camera on ebay theyre about £12 gbp (type in lighter camera) at least if anything happens in your absence ( god forbid) you know exactly what and have concrete proof to show therapists to get the help he needs .. hope this helps . good luck

[AnnieBrooke]

I guess I don't really understand the situation you are describing.  He is your son but not your husband's son or your daughter's full brother? and he was in a different living situation before the one he is in now?  Is that how he got abused?  I would certainly talk a different therapist if yours is just poo-pooing the situation, but I can't imagine calling the police and having him removed from the home if he is your son and only 9.  What do you think the police will do, throw him in a squad car and drive him to jail?  They are not going to solve your problem.  In your shoes, I would find another therapist right now and go yourself without your son and describe the whole situation and talk over your fears.  Good luck!