I caught my 7 year old daughter and her friend playing with each other and kisses.....

[worriedmom201]

Tonight i let my 7 year old daughter have a friend spend the night. After i put them to bed it was really quiet so i went to go to my room as i was walking to my room i noticed that they were under the covers doing something. When i turned on the light and tried to take off the blankets they tried to fight me. They had there pants down and could tell they were kissing. They were all sweaty. So i told them to go to the living room to talk to me. I found out they were touching each others pottys and kissing each other. They said that they had never done it before and that they dont know why they did it. But i dont know what to think. Is this normal should i take my daughter to the doctor she has never seen anything. Other than when she was little and the sitter let her watch knocked up but that was years ago and i fired that sitter. What am i suppose to do i am lost.... Do i tell the other little girls brother that she is staying with? Help please

[justme1983]

I know people are going to give you the dooms day responses on here but the biggest thing is to not blow this out of proportion. Children are naturally curious and are naturally attracted to what feels good. Most girls go through the same masterbation stage around the age of 2 as well. Although at 2 years of age they are too young to understand cultural rules. This resurgance of curiousity and exploration is a perfect chance for you to just teach them your cultures beliefs regarding masterbation. This is also a good time to discuss personal boundaries. Discuss why you were so alarmed. Why you feel it was not okay for them to be touching. Children are sponges. They will accept what you say as long as you are open and honest. If you appear to be lying they will always have those questions in the back of their mind as to what you were hiding.
Remeber this felt good for them for two reasons. Biologically. Obviously. And the thrill of doing something new. If you are completely against this mutual masterbation between the girls you need to set concrete disciplinary actions that will take place if this happens again and stick to it. They need to understand this is wrong in your book and will not be tolerated in the future.
As for the kissing. Kissing is kissing. It is a sign of affection in their eyes. No one has said kissing between girls is wrong. Different cultures accept different things. Before being completely appauld by your childs actions you need to really teach her your customs and beliefs. She's not psychic. Children must be taught how to discriminate between what is acceptable behaviour and what is not before they can be punished for their actions.

[Sara_MHModerator]

Hello.  This post is from 2010 and hope that the original poster has found answers and help for the issue since then.  We're now going to close this thread to new comments.  Thank you

***  thread closed***

[StarKittycat]

I did this when I was a child... I was molested though by an adult throughout.
I think the other girls that were involved must have been too, because compared to light kissing and mimicking animals mating with clothes on that I was doing... They were doing stuff like what your daughter was and apparently more but I never knew the whole story (since I was just a kid). The parents were all looking for a scapegoat, I was only 9 but they made me the perpetrator of why their kids did those things. It was my bad influence... And I wasn't allowed over anymore, even my extended family turned against me years later. I went to amuse a young male cousin that was crying and an older male cousin came over and took the kid out of the room. I was 16...  When I was still 9 and that happened my Mother sat me down and asked me if anything like that had ever happened to me or if anyone ever touched me. I lied to her and said no. And I have never told her about being molested either. Because everyone was freaking out about it and I felt like I had done something so bad.

[Faylew1012]

I mostly agree with the above post, but make sure that ones of the girls hasnt been introduced to a situation that involves inappropriate sexual contact or innuendos. This can be a sign that one of the girls has been introduced to something that she wasnt supposed to. Maybe you should have a talk about whether or not something they didnt like has happened and casually let the other girls caregiver know what has happened and that he may want to make sure she is doing well. I know that when someone has been sexual abused they may try and act out what has been done. Just a little investigating is in order.