I need help potty training my 4 year old

[Soozaque]

My son (actually foster son) is nearly 5 years old, and is still not potty trained for pee or poop.  When he moved in with us, I realized part of it was the severe neglect this poor child has suffered.  But we are working very hard to get him potty trained, with no luck.  We've tried everything advised by all the specialists involved with foster care, with no luck.  He will not stop whatever he is doing when he pees or poops - there are no signs he's doing anything.  It's so strange!  We take him to the bathroom at least every hour, and he will often pee when we take him.  But he won't take himself.  He'll say he doesn't have to go, but if you take him he usually goes pee.  He doesn't care if he's wet - we've seen him nearly dripping wet AND poopy, and he'll just keep playing!  Any advise from someone that may have dealt with this?  There are tons of hoops we have had to jump through to get specialists involved with this - I think his visitations with mom make it worse, because even if he's stinky with her, she just ignores it and waits for us to pick him up after the visit is over.  However, DHS is not concerned and just tells us Medicaid will pay for the pull ups. They don't seem to care that it's not about the money.  Any advise????  Thank you!


This discussion is related to Regression in Potty Training Almost 4 Year Old.

[margypops]

Your post sounded very caring and it is a good thing this little boy has you in his life and you cared enough to ask others what to do,about this issue. First get rid of the Pullups they enable the behavior, give him wonderful big boy underwear, with those great action figures on them,tell him they are special for special boys and boys who   use the big potty like you and his Dad do,When and if he has accidents ,no big deal just clean upo, over reaction makes children nervous and more inclined to do it out of anxiety. Less words and fuss, take a step back and let him take control , dont take him every hour,let him take himself,to the Bathroom.He has got used to it all being done for him and it makes him anxious.Focus on the positive side of his behavior, give him praise when he does something right. He has a Dad (as you said Us) ask him to get involved in sports and Games and having Fun, lots of attention for him,Good luck ,I am glad he has found you.