I need help with my 9 year old son

[shortstuff721]

My 9 year old son is getting hard to handle. Just to give a little background: He was diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 5. We treated it naturally with diet and vitamins till he was 7. Then due to increasing situations at school we were heavily influenced to medicate him. We balanced the idea and decided to do so. It has been one hell of a roller coaster since! We have tried all the lists of medicines there is and to no relief no help what so ever! He is very intelligent, is in honors classes, has great grades, is very social with his friends. Great kid!!! So, you must be thinking whats the issue?? Well, we decided recently to take him off the meds. Why do it if he is the same on or off and why risk the side effects. He is having trouble staying on task and has impulses that dirupt his class and teacher. He also seems to love to lie where he thinks the lie is the truth because he pushes it so hard. He can be defiant to us. Hes a very loving child when he wants but can be very rude and hurtful (with his words not hands). I do believe he was misdiagnosed with the ADHD. But, then that poses the question: What is going on in that head of his if its not ADHD?????? Please help me. I am truly frustrated with him and yet truly frustrated for him!!!! I dont want him to lose everything he has worked so hard for in school and have it said he has behavior issues. i want him to also be more respectful to us and the rest of his family.

[Sandman2]

    gotta run off to a meeting, will get back to you with more info later.
The book I recommend the most is, "The ADD/ ADHD Answer book," by Susan Ashley.   It covers a lot of really important, useful topics.  You can order it via amazon.
   I was doing a bit of guessing, in my post.  Seemed I hit a lot of them.  I've got a few more comments on smart kids, and getting used to meds (separate topics).  I also post a lot on the adhd medhelp site.  If you have any specific questions, you don't get as lost in all the other posts over there.  thanks for responding - gotta run.  Best wishes!

[shortstuff721]

Thank you so much for your comment. We are going to his pediatrician and psychiatrist this week. I will post what happens at the doc appts.

[shortstuff721]

I am in a much better state now and am thinking more clearly about the situation. I guess I post things sometime before I really think them out fully. I do believe now that the stimulant drug really was not the right fit for him. I do see a difference in his behavior without the meds. His impulses are harder to control, and when he says he doesnt know why hes doing the things hes doing i truly do believe him at this point. Like i said im in a much better state and am thinking more clearly.  I have met with his teacher now that he has been off meds and she has reinterated that it is indeed in her opinion ADHD. We have made a follow up with his doctor. We are going back to the psychiatrist also.
I know you had said you had some resources you were willing to share. That would be great if you could. I can always use more info.
Thanks so much again!!!!!

[shortstuff721]

I appreciate your input. I know it was hard to understand what I had written. I was all over the place. He has been diagnosed with ADHD by 2 psychiatrists, which led us to treating it naturally at first. Then we caved and treated him with meds 2 years ago. With the meds he had always been placed on a stimulant med. He has tried ritalin, adderall, and vyvanse. With it being a stimulant med I believe he had trouble with it and that it was not the right fit for him. Which gave us the thought maybe he was misdiagnosed. But, now that we had him off the meds he has done a 360. We met with his teacher last week and she said now she sees fully that it is ADHD and his impulsiveness has returned full blown. His academics have not been affected as much. But, his behavior is really effecting him and the class. We have scheduled an appointment back with his pediatrician to reevaluate the situation and will go with a nonstimulant med going forward.

He is an honors student and is in third grade and testing on an 8th grade level. He is very smart and a great kid. I know I had mentioned that before and then went on to rant about how I am frustrated and that he lies. I sat him down and really tried to get help for me and for him as far as how the house goes. He has told me that he does those things because his brain tells him to. He says that the meds did help in a way to control that. But, now he feels he can't help it anymore.
I will post what happens this Wednesday at the doc appt. And hopefully, I can get the help that he needs to make sure we stay right on track.

[Sandman2]

   I agree with RockRose, tis a bit hard to read between the lines.  But having spent a few years on the ADHD forum will attempt to do so.  Realize "this is reading between the lines", so definitely feel free to add or correct when necessary.
   First thought is that he has been on meds for about two years.  You don't say which ones.  I am going to assume stimulant (compared to non-stimulant) medications.  They are very powerful.  If your child did not have ADHD, the meds should have made him very hyperactive - hey, its speed.  Only it doesn't effect someone with ADD/ADHD that way.  So its a pretty good chance he does have ADHD if the meds did not effect him that way.  
    Second, you said, "Why do it if he is the same on or off and why risk the side effects. He is having trouble staying on task and has impulses that dirupt his class and teacher."  Need clarification here.  Was he also having trouble staying on task  and disrupting the teacher when he was on the meds - or only after he went off the meds.  The first case would indicate the meds were not strong enough to affect him, and the second case would indicate the meds were working and now that he is off of them - he has reverted back to normal behavior (for him).
   Then you said he loves to lie to us.  That is very typical behavior for a kid with ADHD (probably others as well).  Kids with ADHD (when they are younger) really don't have very good filters.  Hence they do things impulsively.  It really doesn't take them very long (if they are intelligent) to figure out, that they are always getting blamed (probably correctly) by everyone and out of sheer survival instincts they lie.  It happens all the time.  It is a very common trait.
   You also said, "It has been one hell of a roller coaster since! "  Every parent that has written to the ADHD forum that I have been posting to for the last 4 years would agree with you.  But then again, I'm not sure what you have been going through.  I do know that an intelligent child can significantly "up" the roller coaster ride.
   I guess my first question is, "what kind of a doctor are you seeing."  All, I have just said should have come out of his mouth.  A good pediatric psychiatrist would not only be helping your child, but would be giving you the information and understanding to deal with this.  It really sounds like (and I am generalizing here) that you have not been getting the information that you need.  Have you been dealing only with a pediatrician?  
   I really don't have all the facts, but it also really, really, really sounds like you need more information.  I can give you lots of very good resources if you are interested.  But it would be helpful to know a bit more information.  Best wishes!
  

[RockRose]

I'm sorry,  I posted that without my final thought.   It sounds like he is very very difficult  to deal with.

Why do you say he is fine,  on or off meds,  and then turn around and say he is absolutely impossible to be around.  

[RockRose]

shortstuff,  your post is impossible to understand.  I have a delightful grown son who used to exhibit ADD (not ADHD) but has grown out of it.  

I'm interested in helping you.

This statement is impossible for me to understand:  " He is very intelligent, is in honors classes, has great grades, is very social with his friends. Great kid!!! "

Why in the world are you medicating him?  IF ALL these things were true, there is absolutely no concern whatsoever with him  in any arena.  

What are you not saying here?  If all these things were true,  there are absolutely no issues at all.

I don't get it.  

[benjimom]

I'm sorry you are going through such a tough time. I know how you feel!  How was he doing on the meds?  You said it was a roller coaster.  Maybe his body is adjusting to being off the medications.  It;'s hard to know what it is.  I hope someone else has some answers for you!

Do you tink he could have sensory problems like sensory processing disorder?