I adopted my son now 11 yrs old, the product of my now ex wife and her previos boyfriend. We then had my daughter now 6yrs old. The marriage crumbled after the Ex got sober (I always was) during her pregnancy. She became extremely viloent and made threats to hurt my children if I left. After 3 years in court I have 60/40 custody. My son used to be kind and sweet but now is crewl and violent to his sister. After hurting her he tells his mother it never happened or makes up stories that it was I that hurt him. After hurting his sister he smiles and laughs as she crys. According to my daughter this happens all the time at her mothers and that she lets him because he is helping her co-parent. He admits that he enjoys hurting animals and hearing his sister cry. HELP ME PLEASE
Have you considered a personality disorder? Many people with these disorders have little to no conscience or able to feel empathy (and I feel personality disorders are a genetic/inherited trait). But, there is research going on in this area with some therapies (very little medication yet) which can help those suffering from these mental health issues. A sociopath or narcississtic or histrionic would be three personality disorders which fit the criteria of "little to no empathy". There are also others. Please contact a medical mental health specialist as a child psychiatrist or child neurologist to better guide you in this journey. All the best ....
The child is too young to give such terrible labels to, especially as he has been through so much. You as a family need to see a therapist and work out how best to handle him.
Get Dr Phils book on familys or contact him, he has such good advice for children in your sons situation.
What bothers me are the conflicting stories. From your version, this never happens at your house and you have never seen it happen? Its not easy for a child to act one way at your house and then act completely different in another place. How is he at school, for example?
The only info you have is what your 6 year old daughter has seen/felt? What does your ex say. It would be very hard to believe that the ex would allow her daughter to be treated so badly. And from what you have said your ex has never seen it happen? Which also makes me wonder about the statement that, " he smiles and laughs as she crys." If neither adult has seen this happen, then your daughter must be reporting this? As margypops said, the dynamics here are a mess. Sounds like you have two households and probably two kids in conflict. Actually, you could have two kids in competition for attention. Wondering if the kids are caught in the middle. How does a boy who was "kind and sweet" go the other way? Before, I call child protective services, I think a bit more reseach needs to be done. If the facts bear out that he is abusing her and that the other parent is allowing this to happen, then a call to the services is probably necessary. Proof of the abuse however, will be tricky. Good luck.
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