I have a 12 year old girl. She has been struggling socially, due to the fact that she is much more immature than the other children her age. She has a 9 year old brother and a 4 year old sister. She has been treated in the past with ADHD and has outgrown it since. She also has a learning disability and is in learning support classes for that. She started the 7th grade this year and is doing very well with her grades. Where I am concerned is that she acts very immature for her age and is outcasted due to that. Her brother is more mature than she is and there is times where she does things that even her little sister would know enough not to do. She socializes more with children that are 3 - 4 years younger than her. She sometimes does not understand simple tasks, such as brushing teeth, washing hair, making bed, and so on. She is very moody at times and can get angry in a snap of a finger. She is usually a very happy go lucky girl with a loving heart. I just don't know what to do.
I'm curious why you say she's "outgrown" the ADHD. She sounds very much like she has ADD to me.
Are there not other girls in the school who are as behind in maturing as she is that she can befriend? It seems like some girls mature into women while other girls the same age are still playing chase and jumprope. Are there a couple girls you could seek out for her that would be compatable? Being lonely is the worst thing for that age, and having just a couple girlfriends would make the world of difference for her.
Hi, at her age, are their any sports she could do? A team sport like softball, dance, gymnastics, even girl scouts, would put her in a team group of girls and she might make some friends from it. Is there anything she likes to do outside of school skating,drawing, bike riding, writing that you could get her involved in? This age brings a whole different group of people at school and shes probaly just uncomfortable. Maybe even feels left out. As far as the "simple tasks", maybe she is overwhelmed with things and just needs a slower pace to do things, or a little "shuedule", like 8pm, brush teeth, 810pm put pjs on, 815pm brush hair, 820pm read a story etc. Make one of the entire day for her and involve her in making it so she feels like she can do the things you are helping her to organize.Try to find her some things she likes to do, and before you know it, she will have friends, even if they are younger, it is important for her to have some friends to help her social graces grow. Alot of kids have learning disablities, and thats ok, it shouldnt hold her back from having friends. Good luck.
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