Hello--I am posting for advice on my son's behavior.
History: He just turned 6; lives at home with me (stay-at-home mom), dad, sister (age 3), and brother (age 1). We have had a journey with him in that his first several years were consumed with trying to figure out why he was terrified of other children. This started in late infancy, and effectively isolated us so that he had an abnormal social development path compared with other kids. All other development was normal.
We started seeking help when he was 2.5, and got suggestions from anxiety to Asperger's to "nothing" to sensory issues, etc. Finally he was dx'ed with PDD-NOS so that we could get him into social skills and music therapy groups at age 3.5. He has improved so much over the past 2 years. He seemed to "grow out" of the issue and our best guess looking back is some sort of sensory problem that caused a huge fear reaction. He is currently completing his 2nd year of regular Pre-K; scheduled to start kindergarten at public school this fall.
Questions: (1) He seems to approach life in the past year with the "glass-half-empty" view. He turns questions into negative statements--instead of "Can I go outside?", it's "I can't go outside." Also says things like "I'm bad" or "You hate my drawing." It seems he (and we) gets stuck in a downward spiral of complaining, whining, and anger when he is in this mood. We try to stay positive and frame the behavior (but not the temperment) as a choice. And he is not always like this. Is it attention-getting behavior? When he gets too unpleasant we send him upstairs till he can calm down. What technique is best when responding to this?
(2) Play with kids improving, but he quickly can get overly goofy/annoying--loud, shrill, running, jumping. Goofy baby talk with his sister, who seems more socially mature at age 3 than he does sometimes. He now has friends at Pre-K (he had a hard time integrating socially his first year, so we held him back from kindergarten in favor of a second Pre-K year) but they are younger so his play gets "dragged down" a level. I'm concerned this will happen in kindergarten, too. Are we expecting too much? At other times, he plays just fine--games, imagining with friends, and so on.
(3) Is often submissive to other kids--"My friend took my Legos and he is the boss of me." We focus on helping him use his words, but then he gets upset or cries if it doesn't work. Any suggestions?
(3) Needs lots of intellectual/physical stimulation. Tested ahead of grade level at Kindergarten assessment. He has lots of interests; a couple things he really likes--nature and building things--and we do all we can to encourage him. Always asking questions and his body and especially his mouth is in constant motion. He is starting to read, so I hope this will help. But he is wearing us out. He's complaining of being "bored". Could he be ADHD?
On good days he is a real joy; on bad days he affects the whole family. Is he just a "high-needs" child?