Impulse Control

   In 2005, I took in my then 4 year old nephew.  Prior to living with my family, he lived with my mother.  After hurricane Katrina, they both lived with us.  His biological parents abandonded him, so my family and I stepped in to pick up the slack so that he would grow up knowing he is loved.  Overall, my 9 year old nephew is a pretty good kid. However, over the past year, 2 incidents occurred that really bother me. 1)About 5 months ago, my daughter told me that he took off all of his clothes and showed his butt to his 4 year old male cousin.  She was not in the room when the incident happened, but the 4 year old ran in laughing saying "G is naked in my bed!" My daughter and her husband talked to him about it. At first he tried to lie, but he finally admitted that he stood in the child's bed , took his shirt off, pulled his pants down and proceeded to show him his butt.  When they questioned him about it, he said he didn't know why he did it.  He cried and apologized.  They explained to him the severity of the situation, and asked questions to determine whether he has ever been exposed to this sort of behavior.  They also explained to him that it is inappropriate to expose himself or touch another person in that manner, and it is inappropriate to allow anyone to do it to him. He was punished by taking away his game temporarily.2) Today I received a phone call from G's teacher asking me why his behavior report was not returned signed.  I was unaware of the behavior report.  The teached informed me that G "strangled" another boy because that child was teasing him.  When I came home, I asked G to write down exactly what occurred.  He said that he lost a game of football, and the other team started teasing his team.  He then randomly picked a kid on the other team and placed one hand around his neck, but he did not squeeze.  He demonstrated his actions on me.  The fact that he lied, also deeply concerns me. Is there something wrong with him possibly?

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

It sounds to me like these episodes both required straightforward limit setting and it seems like you are very sensible in your approach. No, I would not conclude that these two isolated episodes are any reason for alarm. Your nephew is not a perfect person - he, like all of us, makes mistakes. Hopefully he will learn from them.