Child Behavior Expert Forum
Inappropriate Touching of another Child
About This Forum:

This forum is for questions and support regarding child behavior issues such: Child Discipline (behavior management), Normal Child Development, Parent-Child Communications, Social Development

Font Size:
A
A
A
Background:
Blank
Blank
Blank
Blank Blank

Inappropriate Touching of another Child

Should I be concerned about a 9 year old girl putting her hand
down the pants of a 5 year old girl?  This has only happened once but the 5 year old said that she was held down even after telling the 9 year old to stop. The 5 year old does not seem
to be disturbed but the parents are concerned as these two
children periodically spend time together.  How do we approach
this subject with the 9 year old without accusing her?
Related Discussions
242606_tn?1243786248
Dear JR,

Yes, you should be concerned. You are assuming the behavior occurred only one time - all you know for sure is that it was reported on one occasion.

Address the matter with your daughter in a calm, clear, straightforward manner. Tell her that you understand she touched this other girl in the manner you learned about (be specific with her about the particulars). Don't ask her if she did this if you have no reason to believe otherwise - it will only invite a denial and veer you off course.

Let her know that such touching is inappropriate, all the more so if she was aggressive and forced herself on the other girl. But, even if there was no coercion, the behavior was still not reasonable.Tell her this is not to occur again.

Also, ask her about the circumstances under which the behavior occurred, to see what you can learn about it. In the course of all this, ask her about any situations during which she may have been touched in an inappropriate manner.

If you look in your local library or bookstore, you will find resources to help you talk with your daughter about this subject.
4 Comments
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
Since I typed this question last night I have spoken to the mother of the 5 year old.  She feels it was blown out of
proportion as to how this situation was brought to my attention.
She does feel that it should not happen again but does not feel
the 5 year old is afraid of the 9 year old.  She also feels that
it my have been a hug type situation and being the 5 year old is much smaller than the 9 year old that she may have grabbed her
rear.  We will discuss this with the 9 year old and will try
to see IF she may have been touched inappropriately by someone.
Others that I spoke to say it is normal for kids to touch eachother and I actually recall a girl touching me when I was about the same age.  I didnt think anything of it but I DO
remember it. Things ARE different these days and We will talk
about "GOOD TOUCH/BAD TOUCH". Thanks for your comments.
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
Remember this is not something you should take lightly. I thought you said the 9 yr old put her hands down the pants of the 5 year old. How can a " hands down the pants" turn into a hug? I don't mean to sound harsh but I know first hand that if you ignore this it will not go away.And a 5 year old will hide her feelings because in a five year olds mind she will think she is to blame. Don't take this lightly PLEASE......
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
Is this normal childhood behavior??? I thought all children went through stages of exploring !  Have had similar things with our 7 year old niece and 3 year old niece with our 7 year old daughter
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
A related discussion, Inappropriate touching was started.
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
My 9 year old son, was in  a bet for him to touch a little Gurl in his class...the little girl hangs with them all the time, she is a friend of them all..so the bet was for my son to touch her on the behind...he does so, he pats her on tge behind...the sane little boys scream to the teacher..%$##)) touched ?%%"$.on the butt.. she confronted my son, turned him in to the principle... told principle what the kids said...mind you the little girl hadn't said a word...the principle asks the teacher is this a matter that she can handle, because she didn't see it and the little girl denies the incident. So she paddled my son she called me in for conference,and also suspended him for 3 days...well  the parents didn't think it was enough ..call tge superintendents of the school, told them that the Gurl was held down and touched in the  front-. They wants him out of school away from their daughter....her fsther says they cannot habe this they cannot have their daughter saying black guys.. he has to go...HELP!!!! I need to know the correct words to say in my son defence..I Did xplain how wrong it was I also punished him..but he is my child and I kbt him like that father love his daughter
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
My 9 year old son, was in  a bet for him to touch a little Gurl in his class...the little girl hangs with them all the time, she is a friend of them all..so the bet was for my son to touch her on the behind...he does so, he pats her on tge behind...the sane little boys scream to the teacher..%$##)) touched ?%%"$.on the butt.. she confronted my son, turned him in to the principle... told principle what the kids said...mind you the little girl hadn't said a word...the principle asks the teacher is this a matter that she can handle, because she didn't see it and the little girl denies the incident. So she paddled my son she called me in for conference,and also suspended him for 3 days...well  the parents didn't think it was enough ..call tge superintendents of the school, told them that the Gurl was held down and touched in the  front-. They wants him out of school away from their daughter....her fsther says they cannot habe this they cannot have their daughter saying black guys.. he has to go...HELP!!!! I need to know the correct words to say in my son defence..I Did xplain how wrong it was I also punished him..but he is my child and I love him like that father love his daughter
Blank
Continue discussion Blank
MedHelp Health Answers
Blank
Weight Tracker
Weight Tracker
Start Tracking Now
RSS Expert Activity
242532_tn?1269553979
Blank
How to Silence Your Inner Critic an...
Apr 16 by Roger Gould, M.D.Blank
242532_tn?1269553979
Blank
Emotional Eaters: How to Silence Yo...
Mar 26 by Roger Gould, M.D.Blank
1344197_tn?1392822771
Blank
Vaginal vs. Laparoscopic Hysterecto...
Feb 19 by J. Kyle Mathews, MD, DVMBlank