Inappropriate touching?

[nncarter]

Our 3 year old told us her brother's 6 year old friend asked her to lay down and pull her underwear back and he licked her vagina. This happened during a hide and seek game where the older brother couldn't find them.

She shared this immediatley following, infront of the child who did it and the child's parents. My husband and I are very disturbed and feel this action was perverse. How should we address (if at all) with our 3 year old and what action if any should we take with the other child and family who happen to be close friends. Help us understand if this Is normal curious behavior for a 6 year old?

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

No, the behavior is not normal. With your daughter, focus on helping her to learn not to permit others to touch her in inapproaprite ways. Relative to the other child, it's up to his parents to follow through. They should be concerned about how it came to be that he did this. Obviously some limit setting and education need to occur, but beyond this it is important for them to figure out what brought this on.

[Mygrandson]

I don't believe it is normal behavior.  The child must have seen this behavior or it was done to him.  A child doesn't just think of these things to do.  I have a grandson, who I have a suspicion that he has been exposed to sexual activity, either personally or has watched and copied.  He has pulled my hand onto his penis a couple of times and he has tried to rub against my leg and tried to call it "funny."  I told him I did not like it and that it was not funny.  He became sad, that I talked to him that way, but finally accepted it as inappropriate behavior.  My next concern is that he will try that with someone else or even with his younger sister some day.  I think I just need to bring this up to his mother and father so that they watch him and their daughter more closely.