Infant Behavior

Hi,

My 10 month old has been seeing her other parent for four hour visits a few times per week. When she returns she appears to be defiant - often grunting loudly and slamming her hands down. She will refuse food and she will also stiffen up and cry when her diaper is changed. These behaviors dissipate within two hours. Often during this time she does not make eye contact, smile, or seem to focus on anything. There is concern that the other parent has mental health issues and may be "training" the baby to do certain specified tasks, but I don't know exactly what. This baby is usually the smiley, happy kind who is very social. I was wondering if you could tell me if this is anger, confusion, or what?

[RockRose]

What are you talking about?

This could simply be separation anxiety,  actually.

Why are you being so cryptic in your description?

[laura1977]

Heres the thing.  A child is not going to be always "smiley".  Has there been a divorce or seperation that this childs schedule is different, except for the four hour visits?  
I am really not going to say anything toward this because I am concerned that you are upset that your child has to go to his or her dads for the four hour visits, and I don't want to fuel the fire.  
Everything will work out with time.  

[April2]

You say you're concerned that the other parent may be "training" the baby to do specific tasks. What the heck is that supposed to mean? Why are you being so cryptic as RockRose said? If you're trying to suggest that you think your baby is being molested or abused then you really need to have some good proof. And what kind of mental health issues are you talking about? If it's something that is controled by medication and they are treating the child well and not neglecting or abusing the child then you can't discriminate against them because they have a mental disease. Many people have mental diseases like depression, bipolar, anxiety and still are wonderful, loving parents. It would be helpful if you would provide more information.

[girliegrl1723]

i personally think you may be reading a little too much into this. a 10 month old is just that - a 10 month old. they are never going to be always the same. my son is 8 months and he is different everyday. an angel one minute, a monster the next. especially because they can't tell you whats going on, they tend to act it out in their behavior. maybe your baby is just adjusting to spending 4 hours somewhere other than home. give it time. if things don't get better, or if things get worse, then i would investigate further.