Irritating 11 year old son

Question

I have a son who love to irritate, do the opposite of what you say, argumentative, speak then thinks, he gets in trouble alot at school for this behavior on the other hand he is very intelligent, he will be taking AP courses next year in middle school, gets commended on TAKS, loves to read, reads about history, he is a very big boy 5'3 125lbs. He gets in trouble quite a bit and knows he shouldn't have done it, but he is quick to react. I have to be a drill sargent and so does his dad, it's quite irritating. Does anyone know what I am talking about, could anyone give me some kind of advice or reassurance that this is a boy or something that can be done. Any help would be great:)

Sandman2 · Answer

It sounds like your son has more intelligence than maturity.  This is normal for an intelligent 11 year old boy.  As he gets older, the maturity will happen.  Until then the advice given above is good.
  It also sounds like - given his age - that he is about to enter middle school.  If that is true he is going from the top dog to the bottom of the pile and that will be an interesting change for him.  Or if he started this year, you may be seeing the results of that change.
  One other thing.  There is no way that he can be taking an accreditated AP class at that  age.  You might want to question what you have heard from the middle school.

Encephalomalcia · Answer

Usually, when kids deliberately try to irritate someone it is because they themselves are irritable or things are not going as they would like in their life.  Try to do fun, happy family things to see if there is any behavior changes.  I know my 12 year old step-daughter gets like this when things are not going her way. We try to do family game night or something fun and it helps.  This is a hard age and the next years up until 20 will be harder than the younger years.  Kids challenge adults, adults need to stay in control.  Do not argue with your child, this will make things worse.  Firm short answers are the best.