I have a question about my 5 year old. He is a delightful, smart, articulate child. His development has been completely normal hiting or exceeding all milestones. He is very social and has many friends. He is in full day kindergarten and doing great. His teacher says his work is excellent, behavior is excellent and he gets along great with the other kids. He plays soccer and basketball and not only plays well but displays great sportsmanship and gets along really well with his team mates. Okay, I am getting to my question. He has some difficulty handling his frustration at home. It typically only happens at home and around friends he knows extremely well - but usually only in our home. He has always had diffifulty in this area but has improved over the last few years. What sets him off can be simple or big. He can be coloring and "mess up" and let out a awful scream then tear his paper up in shreds. He will sometimes throw things or strike out at his sister. When he becomes out of control, I send him to his room for a cooling off time out. I have tried to discuss this with him. We have discussed that frustration and anger are normal emotions and we all have them, but that he needs to find a better way to deal with the emotions like counting to 10 and using his words. He says he tries to remain calm but can't help himself. What gets me is that I know he has to encounter some frustration at school, but he never has an outburst at school. Is this normal? Will his ability to handle his frustration develop in time? We do not have any family history on either side of mental illness. Thanks
Yes, this is very normal, and your son will display better handling of frustration as he continues to develop. If he responds with aggressive or destructive behavior, place him in time out in a chair for five minutes or so, but start the time (use a timer to track it) only when he is seated and quiet. Time out in his room is not such a good idea for a child so young. When he is nine or ten, time out in his room would be appropriate.
One other comment - he has recently started to put himself in time out when he has an outburst. He will go to his room on his own and came out after he calms down. When he comes out he apologizes to me for his behavior - so I know he is trying to control himself. Thanks
Your son sounds like a wonderful kid & it's very normal for him to act out more at home than in public or with others. Lots of kids are like that, they feel safe and secure enough to demonstrate strong emotions at home that they never would with outsiders. Take his outbursts as a compliment, he knows he's loved and accepted at home no matter what he does!
Thanks for support and uplifting comments! I did make him sound like an angel, but he has been a very challening child in this area. His outbursts can be troubling to me because he can become so out of control, and I feel helpless. I guess we all feel helpless as parents! Thanks again!
I have a 5 year old son and have the same ezact problem. It is easy for us to make them sound like angels that our jobs. nothing seems to work with my son either. He also get mad over simple things, messing up on homework, if he drops something, or his sister interuupts him... I was also told by his peditrition is was normal. I hope this stage horrys up and passes, i don't know how much more I can handle. He acts like he is the parent. Good luck and know you are not alone with this.
My 4 to be 5 year old daughter is a sweet,loving yet somewhat aggresive (aggressive) child. She learns well and has good friends in her preschool. They tell me she's well-mannered behaves very well with her teachers and friends. My problem is her talking to people, sometimes even her grandparents, who live in our town. She gets moody and if she doesn't want to talk, she turns away, or she pretends to growl. We have talked this over w/ our pediatrician, and he believes it is a phase that will run it's course. I've tried time-out, I've tried taking things away from her, and I've tried telling her that her behavior makes people sad. That usually hits home. She promises she will talk next time. She talks once or twice, still only by our prompting. When we're not around, she talks to people fine. My husband is at his whit's end. His resentment is carrying over to our marriage and I don't want our daughter in the middle. I don't know how to make her see that communication is so important and it's best to start young. My husband wants to tell his parents (the one's that were ignored) to not give her presents until she communicates. To me, this is ludacriss. Please help us.
tell him his way to correct the behavior is wrong. He's taking it personally....if he doesn't like her then she has picked up on it and is taking out on him through his parents. He's the adult...he needs to change his attitude towards her before she can trust him.
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