Is it more than a night terror

[worriedmommy2008]

My daughter is almost 6 and for the last month (everynight) she has been having what the doctor says is night terrors. Everything I read says a child having these does not know who is around them and will not remember the event in the morning. That is not the case with her. She knows who is there and remembers it in the morning. When I ask what she dreamed about she says she is too scard to talk about it.  
It starts about 30 minutes to an hour after she falls asleep.  She runs around screaming and crying. She hides behind my bed and tells me to hide too and be quite.  Then run to the bathroom and sit on the potty and not do anything, then jump up and say mommy come on we have to hide.  A few times she has screamed daddy get out of my room. (her father does not live with us) This will  go on for anywhere from 10 min to and hour and half.  I am worried that there is possible abuse going on, but the dr have found no evidence to support that.  Is this just night terrors or is it more? I am on night 3 of the breaking of sleep cicyle and she is still having them when she falls back to sleep. what eles should I do? Thank you!

[momagain59]

I was a foster parent for 10 years and this sounds more like night mares instead of night terrors. Does she spend time at her Dad's house? Do you suspect him of abusing her? I would not be able to put her in therapy fast enough. Abuse is very seldom proved by Doctors. It has to be violent for there to be any evidence. I have been told by several Doctors that children heal really fast and it is hard to find any physical signs after a short time. Have you asked her why she is too scared to talk about it? I would ask her, Who are we hiding from? Maybe medication to help her sleep at night would be helpful until you can get to the bottom of this. Don't ignore you instincts. You are her rock in this storm.

[RockRose]

worried - when you say that she knows who is there - it doesn't actually sound like she does.  She thinks her father is there and he isn't.    And when you ask her what she dreamed and she says she's too scared to talk about it - you don't know what she is remembering because she's not telling you.

The running around screaming sounds like a night terror to me.  And thinking someone is there who isn't also sounds like that.  With a nightmare,  a child will become calm when the light is on and the parent is there - they won't run around screaming.  Also,  this is the time of night when Night Terrors take place,  where nightmares usually take place in the wee hours of the morning.

I agree with momagain that maybe there is a mild sleep medication that might get her through this sleep cycle.  

[worriedmommy2008]

Thank you for your help. She is starting therapy on monday. When i try to talk to her about what she is scard of it ranges from spiders to garbabge. And if I try to push her to tell me more she gets up set. She did spend time at her father's house and all of this started the night after she came home from his house.  I got an emergency protection order to stop the visitation until the a court date is held. I have recently been informed that he molested his cousin. So yes I am very concerned that he has done something to her.  I just don't know what more to do to help her at this point.

[worriedmommy2008]

She does know I am there. She calls me and if she cant see me she gets even more frantic. She says things like "Mommy get down" Mommy hide"  She has also had these night terrors at my moms where she calls for grandma and does the same things to her.

[RockRose]

worried - can you set up a video camera and tape these?  This would be so helpful for a therapist to see what's going on.  

She seems to know you are there,  but she mistakenly thinks her father is in the room too.  

Prayers for getting this to work out.  I think it's a good idea to stop the visitation until this can all be sorted through.

[momagain59]

I know you feel helpless at this time but, you are doing all the right things to help your daughter. I am so glad that you are protecting her, so many mothers do not do this. She will always feel secure with you.

The night terrors that I have witnessed were, The children acted as if they were scared to death, they could not be comforted, at times they said things like "leave me alone" "don't" "stop" as if they were talking to someone that wasn't there, they didn't carry on conversation about anything, they would at times run like they were trying to get away, mostly there was uncontrollable screaming, crying, defensive moves and they did not have any memory of this in the morning. You can feel the terror that they feel.

Is your daughter O.K. with not visiting Dad? Does she know why the visits stopped? It is very important to reassure her that it is not her fault and everyone just wants to make sure that she is safe. How old was Dad and his cousin when he moleseted her? Do you trust the source that shared this information with you? Be sure to document all of the bahaviors and comments that your daughter makes. It comes in handy when you have to go to court.

[worriedmommy2008]

Thank you both of your insight. I have recorded some of the audio on my cell phone. I will try the tape recorder.  She does not seem to notice she hasnt been seeing him. I have told her and her sister it because I want to make sure they are safe when they see him. And they really dont even ask when they get to see him or even about him.  

He was in his late 20's and his cousin was 14. She came to me and told me (a few years after it happen) and I do trust that she is telling the truth.  Thank you again for your help and prayers.