Is it self harm or just a type of tantrum in a 3 year old?

I have 3 boys ages 6, 3.5, and 1(all boys).  My middle child the 3.5 year old has had some very concerning behavioral issues in the last 4 months.  Simple things make him in my words try to cause harm on to himself.  It first started with walking away and going to another room and banging head on a wall(no crying was taking place), it progressed to hitting head head with fists(no crying was taking place), then it was trying to rip his hair out, still was not crying while attempting this.  The most current sign he is showing is taking his fingers and scratching them down his entire face still not crying.  All 4 have been occuring at once lately and all infront of people.  Not sure what is exactly setting him off. They have been simple things ex; no you can't have another cookie, or Mommy will help you soon as she is done changing a daiper or putting the clothes in the washer etc.  Typically 5 minutes after the event it is like nothing ever happened just as happy as he was before it happened. Also remember I do get the full out kicking, screaming, hitting, and throwing himself on the ground temper tantrums.  Those don't concern me as much just figure those are part of the age. My husband and I have ignored all cases in hopes that he will relaize they are not necassary but the non crying ones are becoming more and more common and visable to other people then just us.  We are concerned with what is going on, is this normal, will there be school issues (will start preschool in the fall), how common is this. We have scheduled an appt with a child psych.  but due to the lack in our area that appt is still another 1.5 months away.
He is in most all cases a perfect angel, bright,ful of energy, and extremly happy.  Does have tendancies to be very aggressive to get what he wants with older sibling, cousins, and friends.

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

Children of this age are learning how to manage frustration and the anger that accompanies frustration, and the behaviors you are witnessing are all examples of response to frustration. All else being equal, as your son grows and develops, his response to frustration will be more organized and reasonable. The evaluation is good idea; it is important to check out if this is a normal-spectrum behavior problem or a symptom of, e.g., mood disorder. It is likely the former.

[dontakedrugs]

MORE DAMNING EVIDENCE ABOUT ADHD `MEDICATION`

Thursday, January 5, 2006 - Page updated at 12:00 AM


Reported risks spur new study of ADHD drugs
By Andrew Bridges

The Associated Press

WASHINGTON