Is my four year old normal?

[kj970]

Hello,

My four year old daughter has intense tantrums every morning about getting dressed. We are currently waiting for our referral to come through to see an occupational therapist for Sensory Integration Disorder. She exhibits many symptoms of someone who is tactitlly defensive (ie, hates the seams on socks, won't wear long sleeve shirts because they feel too tight etc..)  She also seems to have some auditory issues.  Loud noises (ie hand driers in public bathrooms) cause her to cover her ears and scream.  My next question is: for the past two years she seems to experience on-and-off episodes of hoarding.  She will eat a packet of crisps and have to save the package, drink a carton of juice and have to keep the used carton etc.  She seems almost unable to throw away things.  However, she doesn't save these items.  She is content to just stick them somewhere (like the bottom of the stroller).  I think she knows that i throw them out; For her, it seems the major issue is not witnessing it.

When she was about two I used to have a terrible time brushing her teeth or combing her hair (this one was down to SID I believe.)  I started giving the toothbrush or hairbrush a playful little voice so that she wouldn't be so frightened.  For instance I would wave the toothbrush about and say in a little voice,  "I'm just trying to help you get your teeth clean, I won't hurt you."  This really seemed to work.  The tantrum would stop and she would relent and let me brush her teeth. I possibly have over- relied on this technique.  Do her ephisodes of hoarding mean that she has somehow imbued inantimate objects with a personality and can't bear to leave them???  I am worried that I have damaged her in some way!

[Encephalomalcia]

Children are very smart, much smarter than we give them credit for.  Allow more time in the morning for dressing.  Let her wear what she wants to wear and let her dressed herself unless she asks for help then help.  When she is dressing, I would ask her if she has decided if she is going to throw a tantrum this morning.  Let her know that if she is planning on throwing a tantrum in the mornings that you will have to allow for more time in the morning resulting in her getting up earlier to throw this tantrum.  Let her know that it is perfectly fine to throw the tantrum and just let you know when she has finished.  She will most likely have a shocked looked on her face, and she will be thinking.  Let her throw the tantrum, simply stand back and watch.  Do not participate or try to communicate with her during the tantrum.  You are only there to make sure that she doesn't hurt herself.  When she's done with her tantrum, go about your business as usual, no fuss.  

[April2]

You might have something there with the auditory thing. My daughter used to do the same thing when she was little. She'd cover her ears when she'd get in the car and the radio was playing or if things were too loud or stimulating. We found out years later, by accident really, that she as Auditory Processing Disorder (APD). It can be a difficult disorder to diagnose as it greatly mimics ADD and they will pass a normal hearing test. She would need to see an Audiologist and get a more extensive testing done for APD. It goes way beyond the normal hearing test. The whole things takes about 2 or 3 hours. I don't know if they could do it with someone as young as her, though, as the test can be complex. They will do things like have background noise and then say something and ask her to repeat it. My daughter was around 11 or 12 before we found out and she failed the test miserably. It explained a lot of her struggles in school as every noise would distract her, from the teacher whispering to a child, to a pencil being dropped. She just had a real hard time concentrating.

She also used to throw the worst tantrums ever when she was little. Part of that may have been too much stimulation but I think part of it was because she's always been a strong willed child. That can be a good thing if you can guide it in the right way. But you may have some battles on your hands with her for some time. Just try to keep your cool, have patience and guide firmly but lovingly.
I hope any of this helps! Best wishes to you.

[margypops]

PS Allow more time in the mornings , children hate to be rushed around, get up earlier so she can get ready without a lot of fuss....

[margypops]

What I read in your post was all normal and I can relate to a lot of the behaviors you seem to think are strange....a lot of children "hoard' objects, we all like to keep things, I hated and still do , seams and labels on clothes , they itch and make my skin feel yucky, but noone ever said I had a disorder because of it,,I have worked with children most of my adult life and many children do not like loud noises. It is possible that in her case these things are extreme and I can understand a caring parent wanting to check it out,however  I am wondering if you are watching for details that seem like childhood behavior , as if you are looking for any behavior that is differant than your experience. What would happen if you relax and not watch her every move and look for problems.  Good luck