Is my nine year old Bipolar, ADHD, or depressed?

My son was the sweetest baby in the whole world.  He had mommy lovin's all the time.  Things continued that way until he was 3 and a half.  I couldn't have asked for better child.  All of a sudden at 3 1/2 his moods starting changing.  I'd tell him while driving home in the car that we would be having spaghetti for dinner and he would start screaming and kicking the back of my seat.  He is now nine, going on ten very soon, and I am at wits end about what to do.  I love him with all my heart and try to show him love, but he'll only accept it if he's not too busy or at bed time.  He always wants hugges and kisses at nite along with getting tucked in.  His mood flips as easily as a lightswitch.  He is aggressive, impulsive, and gets easily agitated and irritated.  

He is seeing a psychiatrist who put him on Rispirodone to control his moods.  That helped at first but eventually it got to where his behavior was worse than it was before he took the medicine.  Also the Respirodone made him game close to twenty pounds.  I weaned him off that b/c I didnt' see any reason for him to take a medicine that did not help him.  At the time I stopped giving him the mood stabilizer he weighed about 80lbs, he is almost 4 foot 9 (I'm only 5 foot 3), but anyway after stopping the medicine for a couple months he is down to 65 pounds.  I think he is skinnier now than he was before we began the Rispirodone in the first place.  His doctor is now suggestion that my son is depressed.  We already have diagnoses of ADHD and Symptoms of Bipolar Disorder.  

For the ADHD he is taking Focalin XR and he is brining home straight A's and actually will be making the Principal's List on Monday.  I am so very  happy for him.

His Dr. gave me a script for the depression last week, but I just can't bring myself to give it to him.  I'm worried that once we start a depression medication he'll never be able to get off of it.  I've been taking depression and anxiety meds since 2000 when I lost my first son when I was seven months pregnant.  To this day I still cannot get off of these depression and anxiety medications.  Everytime I try I get more and more easily agitated and angry.  I don't want him to have to go through all that.  I love him, he is only nine, and I can't imagine me starting something that he'll have to continue forever.  Any suggestions?  

What's even crazier is that he is a completely different child at school.  Everyone tells me how sweet and helping and kind he is.  They never noticed any signs of bipolar or ADHD.

But of course as soon as he gets off the school bus he starts in and starts complaining about "why didn't you bring the car"  "oh my gosh do we really have to walk home"  "i was having good day but now you had to go and ruin it" "i'm getting outta this place" "some people need to stop being jerks to me".

[angelblueeyes]

I just finished reading your posting and my heart goes out to you what a difficult situation. I am no doctor but my oldest daughter was diagnosed with ADHD and I just posted recently my youngest daughter who is almost 11 was just diagnosed with anxiety. I can only speak with experience but my oldest daughter went through the severe mood swings when she was at that age before she was medicated for the ADHD but I will tell you like you I was not keen on giving my child medication. She was on it for about 6 months then I pulled it off her I just kept her on a strict bedtime schedule. The one with her I can remember she was always a very intelligent child and I had to be 10 steps ahead of her I could never give in to her even if I was not well or exhausted after work because she would go a mile with it. The only problem she really had was having a difficult time staying on tasks at hand and difficulties with concentration she did not have behavioural issues though as the pscholigist stated when they tested her. The situation sounds more like my youngest daughter she gets very angry with me and can get aggressive they stated that was part of the anxiety disorder when she gets to overwhelmed she acts out. My daughter started with the trauma of severe bullying about a year ago we moved her to another school and just recently in the last year we have had some major changes in our home both my husband and I both stopped working due to illness. The psychiatrist stated thats what probably brought it on. I was just wondering when you stated you had a miscarriage at 7months how old was your son . Just a thought but maybe he is acting out at home because he does not quite understand what happened to his mom during that awful time. Like I said earlier I am no doctor but its just a thought. I wish you all the best with your son and hang in there.

[Sandman2]

   Curious if you have any other children and the house and if so, how old they are.  

[jdtm]

I'm worried that once we start a depression medication he'll never be able to get off of it.

Depends - most SSRI's are not addictive.  However, many people remain on these meds because of the "chemical imbalance" in their brains - specifically low amounts of serotonin or dopamine; not because of addiction.  Talk to your doctor about this ....

[taetme]

Yes, I have a six year old son.  He and his brother are completely and totally different.  My six year old is a happy, lovable, sweet little boy.  He skips and sings "la la la" on the way from the bus stop while my nine year old complains the whole way because I didn't bring the car or I didn't bring him or drink, or just whatever he feels like complaining about

[taetme]

I talked to them this morning about the addiction of an antidepressant.  They told me that it is not addictive and that it may actually help.  His psychiatrist sent me some information and my pharmacy is gathering some information for me.  This is a huge decision for me to make.  I don't want to screw it up.  

[Sandman2]

   Just a thought here.  His problems started just after the time your other child was born.  He is apparently great in school, but a real pain at home.  Its pretty tough for a child to be so completely different in two different places if they have a bi-polar/depression kind of problem.  Of course its possible that he is just barely keeping it together at school, and then loses it when he gets home.  Also makes me wonder when the meds wear off?  Does his last teacher of the day see any difference between the end of the day and the start of the day?
   Anyway, its possible that some of this is the social dynamics caused by the attention the younger child has gotten.  Also if your son is ADHD and the other child is not - the type of attention he received while growing up was probably not the most positive (comparatively speaking).  By the way, there are productive ways to work with ADHD kids and other methods of discipline that just make the matter worse.  The book I recommend a lot on the ADHD forum is,  "The ADD/ ADHD Answer book," by Susan Ashley.   It might be worth your time to get it.  Hopefully, your psyc has looked at these possibilities, and has also given you ways to work with your son when he gets home.  Meds can be really helpful in cases where they are really needed, but they are only part of an answer.  If you have any other questions, I read all the posts on the ADHD forum - not so much here. Best wishes.  

[taetme]

Sandman2 the problems actually started while I was pregnant with my third child (I have had three children but the first one I lost while seven months pregnant).  My second child is the one I am having trouble with and the third is the happy go lucky one.  His doctors and I are all baffled at him having two complete dispositions at home and at school.  His meds do wear off about the time he gets home.  I have a backup quick acting medicine that I use sometimes but he is getting used to the dose and has problems sleeping when I give it to him anyway.  

His teacher says he is very happy and always interacts with the other kids, very bright, one of the brightest math students she's ever had.  

My son received more positive and loving attention during his first three and a half years than most kids receive in their whole life.  I had never seen a happier child.  Loving, happy, you name it, he was absolutely perfect.

I'll check out the book you suggested.  Thanks so much!

[taetme]

Thank you so much for your post.  I really appreciate it!!!!

[taetme]

Thanks to everyone for their help!!!