Is my three year old too young or not ready for school?

[jenniferdedo]

I have a three year old son that sounds just like the three year old son in the title "3 year old behavior normal or not" and I also have a 2 year old son. My boys have always been at home with mom. Well last year I tried to put my 3 year old in Mother's Day Out 2 days a week. Well it only lasted 2 weeks. He wouldn't stop crying and throwing fits  when I would try to drop him off and it was just as hard and upsetting for me so I decided that he wasn't ready yet. Well now he is three and last week I started him in the Headstart Program. He cries when I drop him off & doesn't want to go. He was even crying about the playground in his sleep one night. He has told me he is scared and also that he misses me and that cries out "Mom"  for me when he is at school. He keeps telling me he misses me and doesn't want to go. I have been told to give it 2 weeks and then see how he is doing. I don't want school to be a bad experience for him. Maybe he is not ready and I shouldn't force him to go. Is it just Separation Anxiety? What types of effects and long term effects will this have on him? I can't stand the thought of him being scared and having that awful feeling all day while at school!! Should I just wait another year and see how he does next year?  I also don't want to cause any long term emotional problems from forcing him to go so what should I do? What effects will this have on his emotional behavior and future schooling?  Thanks, Jen    

[orangefluffy]

Hi,
I have a three and half year old boy. We have been trying to get him focused enough to Name the letters of the alphabet, he can sing them but when we ask him a letter he can't tell us what it is. My husband says he had the same learning problems when he was little. He doesn't want our son to go threw that. You see what happens is our son will start doing things that are of positive;'s for him not what he needs to learn like the ABC's or 123's. What is the best place on this planet to get help for him. I know there are different learning techniques and especially when a child is placed in another learning environment that can be absolutly great for him. A person or organization more qualified than us. thanks.

[kanikasachin]

i completely agree with specialmom!!!
I wish i seeked ur advice ta the time when my daughter started going to school.

[allmymarbles]

You could wait until next year and then send the two little boys to "school" together. Some children are not ready at age three, and trying to send him at age two is a little precipitous. The experience of the previous year may have affected him badly.

[specialmom]

Here is an important question------- after the initial crying jag, does he settle down at all and feel a little better?  What does his teacher say happens after he is in the class for a while?  If he settles down----- this is great news!

I'd recommend . . . and don't fall down when I say this . . . but if they have a drop off that you can do rather than walking him in-------  do that.  The fastest goodbye possible with very little emotion on your part is best for getting over a difficult seperation.  You  must always remain in the positive about school and talk it up like it is the coolest thing possible.  

You can volunteer as Anniebrooke suggested (and that is very fun!)------ but sometimes it is hard during the adjustment period.  Many schools do not let you do it the first month because the child is getting aclimated to the new room and NOT being under mom and dad's direction but someone elses.

I have two boys that are 15 months apart and am a stay at home mom.  I remember the year they were 3 and 2 very well.  You are a tired lady.  Give this some more time.  I know it is draining on you to have him melt down over this-------  but at 3 . . . most kids really do settle in and enjoy preschool.  Preschool is not like algebra class . . . it is fun.  Maybe if the teacher greets him and steers him directly to something he likes to do (play doh or shaving cream or a manipulative he loves) it would help.  I'd also try to set up a play date with another mom in the class (easy to meet in the pick up line).  Make it a meeting at a park and keep it to an hour or hour and a half.  That way he gets familiar with someone else in the class and feels like he has a friend.  Pick anyone . . . be bold and ask them.   Most parents of kids that age love to get out and have people to meet.  And bring your two year old along . . . exercise is good for all.  Anyway, it will give him a familiarity as I said with someone in his class.  Kind of like going to a party of people where you really don't know anyone but then you spot a friend and you feel more at ease.  It is the same idea.  

good luck!

[AnnieBrooke]

If you could go and sit in your son's classroom for just a few days, he might calm down.  If not, write it off as "not ready" and try again later.

[kanikasachin]

hi jenni,, I read ur post. The samething happened with me when i sent my 2 1/2 yr old daughter to school. She used to cry bitterly, blabbered in sleep, became very very cranky and moody. It lasted for about 7-8 months. I understand ur situation.
Try to send ur kid to the school only for 1/2 hour for about 2 weeks or more. See if he is settling down ,, be very patient as he will surely take time to get use to the new environment.
Gradually u can increase the timings from 1/2 hr to 1  hr.
Some kids hardly take a week to down but some seriously take too long.
U can also talk to his teachers and tell them to be very playful and friendly with him.
Also make a habit to talk to him about his school everyday in a positive way.
but once u start sending him to school avoid to discontinue else the next time u will have to start afresh.
My daughter still refuses to go to school and cries bitterly sometimes..
I faced excatly the same situation the one which you are going through. My kid amongst all(79)the kids was the last to settle down in school.
All the best!!!!