Is she going to be alright?

My husband and I have been separated for nine months now, we have a little girl of three and half, two weeks go she started going to the babysitter, she's been reacting to it horribly.  She isn't eating, and she cries murder when left in the am. Is this because of the separation?  Will she be alright?  Is there anything I can do to help her through this?  If so what?

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

Dear Ruth,

If this is your daughter's first experience staying with a sitter, her reaction proably has little, if anything, to do with the separation. Rather, it's the separation from you that causes her the distress. Children are very resilient - she will adapt (asuming that the sitter is a capable person). When you bring her in the morning, try not to drag out the departure. Be casual and supportive, letting her know you'll see her later on. Try to practice the same routine each morning, so you build some structure around the experience.

Is your daughter having contact with her father? How do the transitions go around such contact? Is the contact on a stable, predictable and consistent schedule? These factors can make a difference when your daughter is exposed to other separations from you.