Today my friend asked me if I think something is wrong with her 3 year old girl. I admitted that yes, I think she has a few problems. She has always tended to be a 'difficult' child. She never ever crawled and showed no interest in this. She went straight from sitting to standing to walking by around 16 months. She is a very fussy eater. She was weened well but when she got to the age of deciding fro herself she refuses almost all food except for dry chicken, toast and crisps - recently she has started to eat pasta an sweetcorn. No other fruit/veg/meat or meals. Not even raisins or bananas.
She'll do a wee in the toilet but will never poop, only ever in her nickers. When she does she is not at all bothered by it, you only know because you will eventually smell it - she doesn't mention it. She doesn't seem to grasp the concept of colours, alphabet etc. She can count to ten though.
Recently she has develped a strong stutter as she begins a sentence. She speaks ok other than that but perhaps lacks the amount of vocab of others her age. She does laugh on ocassion but doesn't always understand sarcasm or subtle humour. She plays well but is prone to mild aggression and is very possesive with her things, she is known to always want what others have and will scream blue murder until she gets it. She has MEGA tantrams that last until she almost shatters herself. They will be triggered by something as small as "no, you cannot go over there etc." She isn't completely disobedient but knows what she doesn't want to do and is never up for any possible persuasion. I wouldn't call her particularly affectionate but she isn't subdued either.
One other thing, she recently went missing on a beach. She had wandered off before her parents noticed. After 25 minutes she was found by herself on a bench at least 100 metres from where she was last seen. She was not upset, or panicked. I'm not sure if this is 'normal' reaction of a 3 year old away from its mother for that amount of time.
To be frank, none of this behavior warrants concern. She is developing as many three-year-olds do. She's too young to be displaying some of the cognitive skills you mentioned, and she will master toilet training when she's developmentally ready to do so. Her social skills, too, will improve as she gets more experience dealing with peers. In the area of tantrums, children this age are pleasure-seeking and egocentric. When their pleasures are interrupted, they don't like it and have difficulty managing the flood of frustraion an anger they experience. She'll be better able to handle these things as she matures.
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