Is there an answer to my problem?

[Doodles_Mimi]

WE ARE LOOKING FOR AN EXPERT ON  CHILDREN'S PSYCHOLOGY/PSYCHIATRY. THERE JUST DOESN'T SEEM TO BE ANYONE IN OUR AREA WHO ARE IN THIS SPECIALTY. WHAT CAN ANYONE GIVE ME AS ADVICE. WHAT CAN BE THE REASON A NOW 6 1/2 YR OLD BOY COMPULSIVELY FINDS A WAY TO SNEAK HIS MOTHERS UNDERWEAR /UNDERGARMENTS. HE TAKES THEM IN HIS ROOM, PUTS THEM ON TO WEAR. HE STARTED (AT ABT. 5 YR.)  BY WANTING TO WEAR DIAPERS AFTER HE WAS TOTALLY POTTY TRAINED. HE SAID THEY WERE SOFT. THERE WASN'T ANY ACCESS TO THEM IN THE HOUSE (NO BABIES) BUT AS SOON AS A FRIEND/RELATIVE WAS VISITING OR VICE VERSA HE WOULD SNATCH ONE TO TRY AND PUT ON. WE THOUGHT THAT WAS STRANGE BEING THAT HE WAS REAL EXCITED TO PICK OUT HIS OWN BIG BOY UNDERWEAR WHEN HE WAS POTTY TRAINED. WELL IT PROGRESSED TO THIS POINT. TO ANSWER SOME QUESTIONS, NO-HE HAS NOT BEEN PUNISHED FOR WANTING TO WEAR EITHER THE DIAPERS OR HER UNDERWEAR. YES-WE DID ASK WHY, HE SAID HE LIKES HOW SOFT THEY ARE. YES- WE TRIED NUMEROUS BRANDS ALL SOFT. YES- EVEN GIRLS (HE PICKED THEM OUT) ALWAYS REVERTS BACK IN A SHORT AMT. OF TIME. MOM LOCKED UP ALL HER UNDER CLOTHES , HE SNUCK IN HIS AUNTS ROOM AND TOOK HERS, OR DIGS IN THE LAUNDRY HAMPER LOOKING FOR SOME. HE HAS NEVER MENTIONED HE WANTS TO BE A GIRL, OR FEELS LIKE A GIRL. WE ARE MOSTLY UPSET BECAUSE HE DISOBEYS BY TAKING OTHER'S PROPERTY KNOWING HE IS NOT ALLOWED TO. HE HAS NEVER STOLEN ANYTHING FROM ANYONE, YET FEELS COMPELLED TO DO SO WITH THIS!  I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO TO STOP THIS OR HOW TO FIND HELP FOR HIM. ?????

[specialmom]

Hi there.  Absolutely check into sensory integration disorder.  Some of the quirks our son has are like my son's quirks.  We have done occupational therapy which has helped tremendously as we learned how to incorporate things into his day that help with his sensory needs, helped with coping skills for things that are uncomfortable (especially things he has tactile defensiveness for (touch things), and behavioral modification strategies that have been so valuable.  I'm happy to share any information on these things with you.

My son is now 9 and while he has some quirks, he rolls so well now that he blends in just fine.  peace and luck to you

[Doodles_Mimi]

Thanks, for your helpful advice. I do think it could be a sensory thing for sure. He is bothered by the way certain things feel on his skin ( tags,sand in his shoe, seams on his waist). I am not familiar with all the " disorders" there are out there, it seems that everyone has a label now days but I know he has to fit in one or more of them. Since he was way younger he has had peculiar ways about him, for example he doesn't just like something, he becomes very fixated on one or two things and he will pretty much play with only those things for months at a time. He loves cars real ones and matchbox as well. He knows the names years brands etc... of them all. He has hundreds of them. When he has something in his head for example, something as simple as " I want to pet the dog" and you are trying to tell him to go wash his hands, you can see the struggle in his actions he seems compelled to do what is in his head . We will try to make him stop and look at us to confirm he is listening to you but, he can't seem to do it, his eyes keep going back to the thing he wants to do. He has melt downs over things that seem unimportant at least they shouldn't be. When he was three he had a fixation with touching cars, random ones while walking down the street, or store parking lot etc.. He would try to run over and touch it, that's all just touch it.Then all was normal again until the urge came again. Well back to your suggestions. Yes we have tried to find silk boxers but he is way too thin they don't make them his size. My daughter (his mom) even gave in and gave him a few pairs of hers that she doesn't need. He still took her other ones, she let him go to the store and pick his own (girls panties) is what he chose only lasted one week before she found more missing from her room. He has also taken bras his mom has found him wearing them in his room or they were hidden in his room for later.  I am going to post my question to the expert as you suggested, hopefully he has some answers! Thanks again

[specialmom]

Hi there.  Well, we have an 'expert' forum in which there is a terrific child psychologist that answers questions.  Go to the above toolbar and hit forums.  On the right hand side of the page is the expert section and I believe he is in Child Behavior.  He's very helpful and may have some advice for you.

He's loving that material it sounds.  And he has a compulsion to get it.  Touch it.  Could you possibly get him something of that material like a slip or pillow case and have it in his room so that then there are rules about the other things.  Things like he can't take anyone elses because he has his own.  AND, he can't take his own outside of his room?  Then you can consider something like boxer shorts for him.  If he is into that silky feel, try to find them for boys.  If not, get him a couple of extra small mens???  Then you can tell him since he has his own things he likes (the things in his room and the silk boxer shorts he can wear)---  he doesn't need to take anyone's things or to go the diaper route.  

I would just focus on his love of this material.  My son has some sensory issues and actually, material and the way things feel is important to him.  He calls a certain material 'silky' and he LOVES it.  It started with shorts and sweat pants that were made out of it ----  that shiny nylon.  "I want to wear my silkies" he'd say at all of 3 years old.  Those athletic shirts that are of a silky material are also now very high on his list of favorite things to wear.  He's ALL boy, rugged and tough, but he likes the way that material feels?????   No big deal.  Just one of his preferences in life.  

good luck