Is this ADHD? Anxiety? What?

[gia1000]

My son will be 4 next month.  He has always been attached, happy, calm and sweet at home.  Little to no tantrums.  When he started preschool is when the trouble started.  The teachers said he exhibited ADHD like symptoms, always running around, not focusing, even during free play.  Impossible to settle/stop chatting during story time.  That is 100% opposite of how he is at home and on playdates etc, so I thought it might be the school environment--huge class, 22 kids.  I switched him to a smaller, more structured preschool.  There, the teachers said he was doing alright, except that he was getting in other kids faces and annoying them.  They would tell him to stop, but he didn't stop.  He was getting better though.  So far so good.  He seemed happy to go to school.  Then, last week, they dropped the bomb... said the exact same thing the first school said, he runs around in circles instead of engaging in a toy, even during free play.  He blurts out answers and ruins games.  He can't settle and stop chattering during story time.  They say he is sweet, not mean or aggressive, it seems to them like a self control/impulse control thing.  They say he fogs out, appears to not be listening to them, even when spoken to directly, but then can repeat everything.  At birthday parties and play dates, he is social, happy, wonderful.  I can pretty much take him anywhere, restaurants, library, etc.  He's a good boy!  But at school, he is not controllable.   Could this be early signs of ADHD?  How can it be so uncontrollable at school, and non existant at home?

[tomel]

Keep in mind this is what preschool is for. To prepare kids for school and these situations.
The teacher might want to come up with a reward system for him to get him motivated . You may want to do the same for him at home.
This sounds like a first time experience for him. How long has he been going? Is this his first time away from home and you? Mabye give him time to adjust. Try practicing with him at home. Have your own circle time and pretend its school.
If your truly worried about ADHD or Anxiety disorder get him evaluated by a developmenatal psychologist or a development specialist.   He may qualify for special needs preschool in your area if they offer this, If they do it is free.  
Good Luck.

[anxiousmomtobe?]

At home he has intensive one on one attention so certain behaviours would be minimized.

Do you have other kids?

I would talk calmly with your son about what is going on in school.  He may not be ready for that much structure.  Maybe he is bored.

Don't panic, but carefully evaluate the information you are receiving from trained professionals who are not emotionally attached to this child.  They probably have a very objective view.  Meet with them, ask them how you can help your son make this adjustment.  If they are truly concerned, I would have a specialist evaluate your son.

I think add is very over diagnosed.  Some children are just more energetic than others.  Sometimes the answer is very simple....

[gia1000]

He has been going to preschool since September.  Prior to that, he went to camp this summer (at the chaotic first preschool) for 2 days a week/6wks.  Prior to that, I had him enrolled in a 2s seperation class one day a week for two hours.  There, he was described as "delicious!" and "we have zero problems with him!"  They said he had a hard time in the beginning with the transitions, but got used to it and did well.  They said he was very quiet and they had to draw out answers to questions from him!  So, in 6 mo time, he's done a complete 180 at school.  In April, I had my second child, a daughter.  My DS has never been one to talk about his feelings... I wonder if this is all somehow related?  New baby came along at the same time school was switched (just about) and potty training too....  Normally, I would describe my son as being an easy, what you see is what you get kind of kid.... But lately I am wondering if he doesn't feel things a lot more deeply... like maybe this is some kind of anxiety that he has internalized?  Or maybe I am grasping....  My ped--who doesn't know him well, my son is never sick--thinks his group social skills might simply be a little delayed and he needs some time to catch up.  I hope that is all it is... But I can't help but worry.  He is also number crazy.  He is very very bright when it comes to numbers, and if it wasn't for the fact that he loves to share his number accomplishments ("mommy!  does that clock say 6:45?!  Mommy, is that a 704 over there!") I would be worried about it.... He is bright w/ letters and music too.

[RockRose]

He sounds like a very sweet little guy.  

But I would be prepared for a diagnosis of ADHD,  really.  His symptoms sound classic,  and for him to come to the attention of TWO separate preschools,  with behaviors that are so far out of the norm that they call and tell you,  that's pretty telling.

My oldest was exactly like that,  and although you cry a lot at first,  he's a terrific guy.  Sweet natured,  smart,  delightful.  He was on a low dose of ritalin during elementary,  and that helped a lot.  The worst thing,  I think,  is the fact that they can irritate other kids and it's SO IMPORTANT that they have friends!  I made a huge effort to be the fun mom who always had fun things planned.  I have a van and I drove small groups of kids everywhere - to the riverbed to hunt fossils,  to the county park for catch and release fishing,   etc.  During after school times,  as your son,  my son was never irritating and he was able to maintain a group of nice warm friendships.

One thing I will  recommend,  if he is diagnosed with ADHD and put on a medication,  don't tell anyone.  I refuse to put "yes" in the ADHD question on soccer sign ups,  cub scout sign ups,  even the school health form.  I had an answer planned if I was caught in the lie - "oh,  he's actually not diagnosed.  He's on ritalin experiementally because he has some characteristics of ADHD,  but no,  he is not diagnosed."  

Best wishes.  My son is now 17,  he's wonderful,  and his creativity and kindness has made him successful,  and well-liked.

[tomel]

I'm sure the new baby has alot to do with it.
Dont listen to the advice of a normal pediatrician. Unless he is specifically a dev. ped.
Take him for an eval. somewhere if it continues.
Good Luck

[gia1000]

My ped recommended I meet w/ a child psychologist.  I have called him for 2 days, he has not called me back.  So annoying to sit here and stress and wait!

[tomel]

I really wouldnt stress out so much. Its not gona do anyone any good.  
Are you worried your son is Autistic or something?
If it is ADHD, which I agree is totally over used. He is still sooo young and still developing.

[gia1000]

Why would you make the autistic comment?  I don't think he has autism, he's so affectionate, attached, conversational.....  He is not clumsy, so fine or gross motor delays.....

[gia1000]

Scratch--i realized why you asked that--I made the numbers comment.  I guess deep down I am paranoid about aspergers, even though he doesn't have any of the symptoms.... but since ADHD seems so out of the realm of possibility for him (considering how he is at home and everywhere else) my mind wanders too much....

[tomel]

Yes that is why I asked, cause you metioned his extreme interest in numbers. He is just learning and that is of interest to him thats all. As long as he is playing with toys and using imaginative play (especially at this age) Another reason not to be concerned.
But I hightly doubt that he is. Especially if his milestones have all  been on track.
I think your son will be fine. Like you said there is a new baby in the house. Alot of children react differently to change. He was the center of attention for almost 4 yrs. and now he's not.  
I think he is prably just very bright. Sometimes very smart children are a little hyper at school cause they are bored.

[RockRose]

Gia - I totally agree that Aspergers doesn't sound AT ALL like him.

For kids true ADHD - (not anger or defiance issues,  that somehow people pretend is ADHD and not something worse) - they often do GREAT at home.  Especially if their home is relaxed and has little structure or rules.  

I don't know what your home is like,  but mine is extremely unstructured.    It's all playtime all the time - they can go inside or outside,  they can eat a snack or not,  I do a lot of picking up after them,  etc.    Lack of focus can't present itself in that situation.

Best wishes.

[gia1000]

Yes, I would say my home is pretty relaxed... I don't ask too much of him... mostly because he is quite agreeable... I don't have to.   Hmmmm.... you've given me something to think about....

[RockRose]

Gia - I can almost see your child right through this screen.  ;D  He's just like mine.

He's going to college next year,  and I'll miss him SO MUCH.  Very sweet,  and clever,  and sometimes he walks out the door without his backpack still.  ;D

[nakia]

I HAVE A 6 YR. OLD AND WHEN HE GOT INTO KINDERGARDEN THE TEACHER WOULD SEND A BAD REPORT ON HIM EVERYDAY. THEY RECOMMENDED THAT I GET HIM TEST FOR ADHD. SO I DID BECAUSE HE DID HAVE SOME PROBLEMS THAT I ALSO SAW AT HOME LIKE NOT FOCUSING, RUNNING AROUND, NOT FINISHING ANY TASK THAT WAS GIVEN TO HIM. WHEN HE GOT TESTED THE DOCTOR SAID MAYBE HE WAS BORED IN SCHOOL BECAUSE THE TEACHER DID SAY THAT HE WOULD DO HIS WORK. AND THE DOC. RECOMMENDED MEDICATION BUT I DID NOT WANT THAT FOR MY SON SO I TOOK HIM TO HIS PEDIATRICIAN AND SHE DID NOT BELIEVE IN PUTTING KIDS ON MEDS EITHER SO SHE TOLD ME TO GIVE HIM 1 TABLESPOON OF COD LIVER OIL AND A MULTI. VIT. MADE BY GUMMI-BEARS EVERYDAY BEFORE HE GOES TO SCHOOL AND ABOUT 2 MONTHS AFTER I STARTED THAT I SAW A MAJOR DIFFERENCE IN HIM AS FAR AS SCHOOL WORK AND EVERYTHING ELSE. FOR MORE INFO. GO UNDER COD LIVER OIL WEBSITE AND CHECK FOR YOURSELF. AND BY THE WAY I PUT THE OIL IN HIS YOGURT AND HE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW. OR U CAN BUY THE OMEGA3 CHEWS. ?'S SEND ME A COMMENT.

[gia1000]

What is the cod liver oil website?  I googled but it is a lot of non relevant info.

[nakia]

COD LIVER OIL FOR ADD/ADHD!

[tomel]

The thing about Cod Liver Oil is can be dangerous for little ones if they get to much.

I give my sone a fish oil supplement/along with a multi but it is a DHA. It is a DHA from Nordic Naturals. They are the best because it is totally purified. You will find alot of Autism/ADHD parent web groups that recommend Nordic Naturals and use it.We have been giving this to him since before he turned 2. I was told by a Child Psych. that she beleived this is one of the reasons why my sons development had progressed so well.  

Nordic naturals does sell Cod Liver Oil as well here is their website.

http://nordicnaturals.com/

[fromnowhere]

I TOTALLY agree about the cod liver oil. My child has been on every type of adhd med with horrible side effects. I took a visit to my health food store and they gave me  a bottle of Focus Factor  and told me to give him Cod liver oil. Its been a month and i see a WORLD of difference

[gia1000]

I'm so fascinated.... thanks all!

[nakia]

YES IT REALLY DOES WORK AND ITS AMAZING HOW SOMETHING THAT IS NATURAL CAN HELP BETTER THAN MEDS. YOU KNOW THAT STUDIES SHOW WHY ALOT OF KIDS HAVE THESE DAYS HAVE ADD/ADHD? PROVEN STUDIES SHOW THAT MILK THAT ARE GIVEN TO INFANTS NOW DAYS DOESN'T HAVE THE OMEGA-3 IN IT. NOW BACK IN THE DAYS YOU NEVER HEARD ABOUT CHILDREN WITH THAT AS MUCH AS YOU DO NOW. BUT YES I KNOW FOR SURE THAT IT DOES WORK NOW AS FAR AS THE FOCUS STUFF TELL ME MORE ABOUT THAT PLEASE!!!!!!!!

[nakia]

SURE! YOUR WELCOME!! YOU WILL SEE A MAJOR DIFFERENCE IN HIM!! BELIEVE ME I KNOW !! GOOD LUCK!

[fromnowhere]

Actually the Focus factor was suggested to me by the health food store and i purchased it at Walmart. I think you can find it online too. Try googling it and you can read all the ingrediants as there are many :)

[nakia]

THANKS I'M GONNA LOOK INTO IT!

[anacyde]

Is this your son's first time playing in groups with other kids?  If he's fine at home and crazy with other kids, it could just be he hasn't refined his social skills yet and it may have nothing to do with ADHD.

Another consideration, do you smoke in your home?  I had ADHD as a child and I was fine at home but unable to sit still in school.  It was the stimulant effect of the cigarette smoke that actually calmed me (Ritalin effect).  After I quit smoking myself, I find my ADD symptoms have returned in adulthood.

[Kriscool]

I'd say you need to talk to a doctor and he'll tell you what's going on.

TRUST ME

Form,
Kriscool

[taco24]

hi nakia, you said your child was on meds with bad side effects. how old was he when he started the meds and how old is he now. when did you switch to cod oil and is that with other meds or by itself. asking because my son recently started med. although i am very reluctant he's 8 and only weighs 60lbs. i was pressured by all to go med route but i can't sleep at night wondering if i made the right decision. he has problems in school and he's been on home tutoring for 3 months and they told me without meds he'd never be able to go back to school. thanks for the help this is my first time posting