Is this normal 5 year old behavior or should I be concerned?

[mum24]

My daughter is 5 years old and can be very defiant, although never aggressive.  She tends to find it hilarious, no matter how many time outs are given, or how many priveledges are taken away, and it goes from one thing to the next most of the time.  She also has a hard time following a list of instructions such as get dressed, brush your hair, brush teeth.  She gets easily side tracked. Is this for attention, or is it concerning at this age?

When should enough be enough to a 5 year old?  What should her normal behavior be like at this age, and when should I be concerned?

[mum24]

Thank you for the reassurance.  I also spoke with her teacher today who assured me that she does not act like this at school, so I guess I just need to reevealuate what I am doing with her and choose *my* battles more wisely.  I'll give it a whirl and see if things improve.  I like the idea of using pictures or a chart of some sort to visualize her daily tasks.

[Trialanderror]

It could also be her inborn temperament. My almost 5-year-old son is also easily distracted between chores and routines. He can focus and comply very well but will always find something else of interest in even the most boring environment or urgent situation. Even the transition between brushing and flossing or just getting from the front door to the car can take forever as he will always have a story to tell or a butterfly to chase, you name it. I have been told that this may just be the nature of a "spirited child" who wants to inhale life to the fullest. Possibly this may be your daughter`s background as well. I tend to be rather amused about my son`s escapades and let go of a few routines or split them up throughout the day or week. The battles to enforce a whole array of unpleasant actions is just too tiring, especially if your child is sensitive to touch like mine. What helps, too, at least with my son, is to change the scenery of routine actions. Sometimes I brush his teeth in the car for a week or a hair wash will be done with the garden hose for a while or we have a picnic every night for a week instead of sitting at the dinner table. Your daughter`s behaviour is pretty sure not defiance unless by now she is trying to oppose the punishment. I always felt if time outs or withdrawal of priviledges seize to work, it is time to ease off for a while. I have a few drawings of clocks that show the pictures and sequence of necessary actions throughout the day. Sometimes that is enough to remind my son of what comes next without getting into arguments. Good luck and don`t be concerned. It is just an exercise for the teenage years....

[CHeimes]

A 5-year old has 30-45 minutes of attention span.  Sounds to me like she's just being a 5-year old.

My 4 year old is the same way.  I tell her to get dressed atleast 10 times before she actually does it, it's the same w/ other things too.

I just go w/ the flow - I can't yell at her or punish her for being a child.

If you think about it - we as parents are the same way.  When someone tells us to do something we get it done just on our own time.

Good luck - everything will be fine!