Is this "normal" or something to be concerned about?

[KristaBC]

My son just turned four and has engaged in an unusual "game" recently.  He likes to pretend he's a baby bird - which entails making a "nest" of pillows and fleece comforters to construct a nest.  When he's a baby bird, he wants to be either naked or wear feathers.  This is where the concern started.  Last week he was hiding in my closet--I thought just hiding out, but I found out later that he had put on a pair of my underwear.  He took them off and we thought that was the end of it.  A day or two later we found him in the backyard with my underwear on again, but he was trying to hide on the side of the house so we couldn't see him.  I asked him what he was doing and he told me that they were silky and he was being a baby bird.  In an effort to support imaginative play, I explained that he's not allowed to wear my underwear-outside or anywhere else-as they are my clothes, but that we would find something else that could be like feathers.  We found a pair of old silky boxer shorts and a scarf that he could wear.  We still thought it was strange, but weren't too alarmed.

This morning he was again hiding in my closet...at first I couldn't tell what he was hiding but soon saw he had gathered up all of my underwear in a bag and was trying to hid it from me.  He went to his closet and closed the door.  I asked him why he wanted the underwear and what he was going to do with it.  He said he was going to put them on and pretend to be a girl.  When I asked him what that meant, he couldn't / wouldn't answer.  I tried not to make it a big deal but explained that he's not allowed to wear my clothes of any sort.  Should I be concerned?  Is this somehow normal exploration?  He sees both my husband and I naked from time to time and with and without underwear on.  Perhaps this should stop now.  How should I handle this?

[adgal]

My almost 3 year old's favorite color is pink and he tries to carry a purse.  His first request for a Halloween costume this year was a Princess one like his best friend Olivia had. None of these things are an issue mom, please try not to worry.  They are little.  Moms and sisters are big influences in their lives and they are likely just copying us.  Your son is probably trying to be like the sister he looks up to.  Don't make an issue out of it and eventually he will probably grow out of this phase.  They have no real sense of "boy/girl" at this stage, at least mine doesn't.  

[Calsmom]

Hi my son he is 3 has been doing this for weeks now and the last 5 days everyday every chance he gets he will go into his sisters room and put on her panties hiding in her closet to put them on and then putting on her panty hose and shirts he says he just loves them and they are for princesses I am vey worried! He was in her room one day doing this for over an hour just changing from one pair to the next and then he would sit down in her chair for a second then get up and put on the next when I asked him about it I tried to be very open and I asked him if he was playing dress up he just was sitting there in her closet and telling me to go away. please help!!

[Sumanadevii]

My son was a nest builder too at that age.  I am sick today and was recently thinking ab out how secure a nest might be!  I am not sure about him using your private inderwear.  I would be tempted to tell him that is not appropriate and help in finding feathers for the play.

[specialmom]

Ha,  I absolutely love that he was building a nest with pillows to be a baby bird.  Quite imaginative.  Kids do odd things and it is meaningless in the big scheme of things.  My oldest child played all kinds of dress up games and he'd start naked and then liked these tight long underwear things to be under whatever he was dressing up in.  I thought it was a bit strange but what ev.  He also collected my clothing . .. including undergarments and that was part of his dress up choices.  He'd hide from me because I guess he was embarressed (even though I never really reacted to any of it).  I'm a stay at home mom.  He is with me a lot and likes my things.  Anyway this started at 4 and went on until 5.5.  He hasn't dressed up much at all since and left behind the long underwear and any of my stuff (except a purple coat I had that he uses once in a blue moon when he pretends to be the "joker" from batman.  Needless to say I'll never wear that coat again . . . I'm no joker!  LOL).  

So, kids just pretend and play.  I'd ask him to not take your underwear as . . . well, you may need to wear them once in a while.  So set some boundaries about what he can play with of yours.   And don't make a big deal of it.  He most likely will outgrow it or. . . you'll have a shopping partner down the road.  It will be okay.

I have a hysterical picture of my son all decked out . .. my shirt, purse, necklaces, a skirt, and boots that went all the way up to the top of his thigh (that go to my knee).  He was sound asleep on his bed in that get up.  I should probably burn the picture some day so for his sake but don't think I will.  Too funny!  

[yngdad]

I'm a dad of 3 boys.My oldest likes to dress in my lil sisters clothes from time to time. It sounds like ur son is just trying to find himself. Don't freak on him. He is only four and he's not doing dirty things with them. So he wears them, maybe buy a pair u don't wear and tell him he can use those. I know it sounds like ur embracing the fact that he is wearing girls underwear, but it is just experimentation. The bigger fuss u make the more he will want to wear them. Kids want what they can't have. Try ignoring it, he will eventually get bored. Good luck.

[Jess_01]

Hi Krista,
Personally I think you have a little boy with a very big imagination. I would surely monitor his behaviour concerning the underwear. If he becomes obsessed then seek the advice of a Parent Help Line or your local GP. But I think he is only experimenting and will become bored of being a bird. Good luck hun. :)